\\ A Post About Kyle \\

I made my way to the lobby of the Kimpton Monaco Hotel where I decided I would spend the rest of my time waiting for my room to be ready. There was a blazing fire behind glass that looked ever so inviting--of course this is where I elected to sit. A young 19 year old boy with braces, dressed in a button up shirt, dark blue jeans (most likely his best pairs) and some leather work boots sat in a lounge chair just there next to the fireplace. I asked him if he was waiting on someone to join him and he responded with saying that he was waiting for a manager for an interview but that I was welcome to sit with him while he waited. Being inquisitive as I am and seeing as he was clearly very nervous I decided to engage in conversation with him. Perhaps it will help to settle his nerves, I thought. He explained to me that he was in attendance at a local community college and doesn't know what he wants to do with his life but really needed this job. "I really need this job. I pray I get this job." Sounds like a line from a familiar Broadway musical A Chorus Line... "I really need this job. Please God, I need this job. I've got to get this job." As we sat there I asked him questions about what he thought his strengths were and he did his best to piece together the words to describe how he was cooperative, how he is a leader and very energetic. I told him these were all wonderful qualities encouraging him in each one and telling him how important all of these qualities were. Our conversation seemed to die a bit as I picked up my book and he picked up his phone, I made the leap. "Would you mind if I prayed for you?" I asked. He smiled and said, "That would be wonderful." I am so glad I got to have this conversation with Kyle and the opportunity to get to pray for him. Not soon after I finished praying with him my room was ready, he thanked me and I told him that I hoped and prayed he would get the job and if not that one that the perfect one would come along. I walked away from that lobby and Kyle has stuck with me. I wish I could have been a butterfly on the wall of the interview room, first off because who wants to be a fly on a wall, and secondly to find out just how the interview went. I wish I knew if he got the job or if another opportunity is coming along for him. It was only yesterday that all of this occurred so I'm sure it would be a few weeks till they let him know but even so...I will never know. But, he is on my mind and I'm entrusting that the Lord has amazing plans for him. It only takes 5 minutes to have a positive influence or impact on someones life. It only takes 5 minutes for someone else to impact your own.

Good Morning Baltimore // A Little Dose Of My Day

 None of these photos are edited. Raw baby! Eat it up. This is the real stuff. Pre-edit. I'm being so transparent right now. Enjoy a couple shots from my afternoon in Baltimore!

The outside or the Kimpton the old B&O Railway Headquarters

Gorgeous Interiors

Spent a good deal of time admiring details of the Kimpton

Yes, Puhleeze!

My office space this evening

No better way to get some work done 

How refreshing & the lighting was simply beautiful (lemon water)

This is Frank he was really helpful since it was my first time at Nalley Fresh!

This delectable bowl includes: Herbed Salmon, Spinach, Quinoa, Crasins, Feta, and a Cilantro Lime Vinagarette

This may be a bit much but...I'm a Giraffe!! Complimentary Kimpton robes!

Nuh-night,

Gabrielle

Long Lost Day In Back Bay

g e t   d o w n   i n   t h e    d i r t   +   s h o o t   s o m e t h i n g

a l l   t h o s e   l o c k s

t h e r e ' s   j u s t   s o m e t h i n g   i   l o v e   a b o u t   t h i s 

b e a r s   s u r f   t o o

t e l l   m e   a   s t o r y

a l l   t h o s e   f l a r e s

i f   y o u r   h e a d   w e r e   t h e   s u n . . .

. . . y o u r   l o c k s   w o u l d   b e   t h e   r a y s

a d v e n t u r e s   w i t h   t h e s e   g u y s

t e x t u r e

h e a d   s p a c e 

S i m p l y ,

G a b r i e l l e

The Follow Through (Also Known As: The Longest Post Known To Man)

Oof. What a post title, yeah? This post is brought to you by the ever growing me, and my phone conversation I had with a one Miss Sarah Grice earlier this afternoon.

So I am out on the road again, and whereas, I thought this trip was going to be one that would be difficult to make, mainly because there's so much going on back home and planning a week of travel amongst it all seemed insane! I am actually not ready to come home. I left early Tuesday morning and have plans to return home Saturday evening...which is tomorrow. There is so much goodness that has come from this trip I am not sure I am prepared to go home and face the challenges that are set before me. This isn't because I feel that I am incapable of facing them or I fear that I will not succeed, it's just that there is so much that the Lord is doing in me and through me out here that I want to glean everything I can from the Father. I'm about to get real honest here so bear with me.

I hit my final breaking point Monday night. I think I cried harder than I have in an entire year. What's ironic is that a year ago around this very time I hit a very similar breaking point. I mourned, and processed, and gave myself a limit of one night. The next morning I arose to take on the journey ahead claiming freedom over my heart and persevering through the storm. A year ago a relationship that was so unhealthy for me finally broke. My heart wept unceasingly for several hours. The funny thing is that I was never in a romantic relationship with this best friend of mine, yet, I felt the deepest pain as a part of myself died that night. We must die to self in order to fully live. So in reality I didn't lose any part of me, I only lost the part of myself that wasn't meant to be there. Does that make sense? I am separating 'self' from 'me' because 'self' is selfish and 'me' is everything that I am at the very root of my being, it's how I was born. Anyway, that's a whole post in itself. Moving forward...

Here I am almost exactly a year later experiencing similar mourning. I cannot believe that an entire year has flown by. I have this wonderful guy friend that popped up out of the blue and our relationship just grew. I won't press much into detail out of respect for him and myself but as you can imagine we became rather fond of each other over the course of a year. Well, we ended up back in the same city and that's when things started to weigh on me. A month went by before I decided that my heart needed clarification on our future. He was incredibly honoring and respectful. I questioned whether I was deserving of that kind of treatment because all I had ever know was exactly opposite of that. It was wonderful and yet it softened my heart even more towards him. As it came to be, we didn't make plans to further our relationship that day. I had peace. I was, and still am, excited about what the Lord is doing in both of our lives--of course that doesn't make it easy. But, that's not what I want to talk about here. This is not some post to talk about why things happened the way they did, or what I had hoped for. The decisions that were made were wise and I respect them for both our counts.

Emotional investment is probably one of the deepest and most pure parts to my nature. Perhaps it's that "Davison gene" in my body that has me tied to another humans heart like a string on a kite. There's something that grabs hold of me as I interact with other people. My heart automatically takes on an advocacy role. I want to be 'for you' just as the Lord is. I want to stand by your side and lift you up. I want to help you carry the burden. I want you to know that you are seen. My heart is for you and sometimes that's the most beautiful thing we can offer to a friend; it's a part of our heart that shares in grief or joy or uncertainty, my heart breaks for what breaks yours. Because whatever it is...if it is important to you, it's important to me, because you are important to me. So here's where I get myself in some trouble. Emotional boundaries are not my forté. I'm learning this. It's a hard lesson to learn, especially with how I am learning it, but I am grateful.

I am an actress. I am an entertainer. I am a girl. All of these things contribute to one very emotional...sometimes over-emotional...23, going on 24, year old girl. I'm not one much with words in person, but I have more emotions than sometimes I know how to handle myself. With all this said, I have realized that although the decision was made to not invest in each other in a sense of furthering a romantic relationship I never separated my emotions from the relationship. Why would I need to? I ask myself. I'm perfectly fine with how things are going. We are still good friends...I'm only sharing the part of my heart that I would share if it were anyone. Wrong. It's quite a bit harder to come back from a relationship that was headed towards being a full on romantic relationship than it is if that line had never been crossed. There's a special part of my heart--and I have written on this before--that so desires to be selfless with someone, to advocate for someone, to push them towards their dreams. I had started to share that part of my heart, that part of me that I should have been more guarded with.

Perhaps, without meaning to, we often take from people we shouldn't be taking from without realizing it. Maybe we desire the affirmation and the encouragement. Perhaps, we don't know that we are taking what is not rightly ours...or...perhaps we do. Whatever the case may be, it's not only on the shoulders of the one doing the taking, but just as well it is on the shoulders of the one who isn't guarding against the taking. This could be within the scope of family relationships, friendly relationships, and romantic relationships. In my case as of current it's within a what could have been a romantic relationship. Emotional ties are hard to break and take probably the longest to heal. I've never before experienced emotionally what I have over the past months, and I don't mean the kind of emotions. I mean to say that I hadn't made the disconnect that I needed to in order to move forward and allow my heart to heal like it should. I left my emotions vulnerable and open for the taking and I willingly lent them and gave them away. That sounds so dramatic...but I mean...come on...we are taking about emotions here. I had not set my boundaries like I should. I found myself feeling defeated and didn't understand why I felt this way when everything was good, it was all right. I wasn't heading the caution that I should have. It's o.k. though. I don't regret giving what I have. I only now know what I should do in the future. I feel honored to have been a part of sharing in those parts of life with someone. I feel thankful to have been able to be selfless with someone and to care for someone as I have. I know that I can be, in that capacity, for someone, someday, and you know what? They will be too, and it will be beautiful.

I'm currently sitting in a local Blacksburg coffee shop that a friend recommended to me..(thanks Nathan!)...and I am thinking on the past few days on the road. No, not Jack Kerouac's version of On the Road but my own adventure as it is. I spent some time with a dear friend of mine watching planes land at a local Lynchburg regional airport over cups of starbies. I think we sat there for 4 hours. I have to mention that before this we had lunch at a mexican restaurant and I have come to the conclusion that if I am ever needing a confidence booster I should get mexican because those guys think they are so charming getting their flirt on with all the ladies...I'll take it. ;) Back to the airport!

We sat there for 4 hours and talked, and sang, and talked, and just enjoyed each other's company. My dear Jordan is soon leaving on a big jet plane for probably one of the biggest steps in her young adult life and I'm so very excited for her! So we talked a bit about that, and then she asked me about the dream that I have that is mine. Now I know when people ask me what I want to do in my life what my answer is and that answer is about partnering with people...but it's funny that she asked me about the dream that will be mine to pursue because I have thought about this here and there. I'm thinking and realizing that maybe the Lord will have me take a dream head on and lead on this one. That's kinda a scary thought. I think over the course of my years in college I thought more about joining with people in a movement rather than starting a wave myself. Now, this is about as far as I have come in my thoughts on this but I do want to start praying about this. I know that I won't be left without answers...and that's what scares me a bit. I am working on following through on what I know I should do, but struggle to. I'll procrastinate a bit...test the waters a bit...look it over a bit...hold on to what I already know a bit...when really I just need to do it. It's easy to say you will do something...the follow through is what counts. Ahhh. Now we get to the subject title! I am working on following through on putting up boundaries where they are needed within my relationships and pursuing the things I know I should, those foundational absolutes I talked about a couple posts ago. I had a conversation with my dear Sarah Grice today about following through on what we know we should do...but I am selfish and I just want to keep doing life the way I'm doing it becausssseee it's hurting me? No. Wait. What? That doesn't make sense; but does the heart ever? I'm definitely laughing to myself right now.

So I made this hike a couple days ago. Four miles out to McAfee Knob and four miles back to my car. I hiked this alone. Well over an hour out to the scenic overlook and over an hour back to my car. Probably not the smartest or safest thing to do but I am so glad I did it. It was difficult at parts. My heart raced. I glistened (that's a nice way for saying I was sweating). I jogged for stints and walked for others. In all this time I thought about a lot of things. It really did a number for my heart. Heartbreak needed to be worked out and I got my silent time with the Lord and nature. My friend Sara calls me a naturalist; that is the sense that I see God in nature and always meet Him there. I experience the Lord in the purest way I can, in the most tangible way I can, here on this earth. So I walked and talked with God and reached the top and the second I overlooked the scene before me my heart stopped. "Oh my, Lord." I exclaimed aloud. I stood in awe. I quickly asked a group of guys who were just leaving the top to snap a couple photos for me. Two minutes later they were gone and it was just me and creation. I was lightheaded, probably because of the elevation but also because I was overcome. I stood there, then I sat there, and audibly gave the Lord praise for His handiwork. I opened up my arms and I let go. I released so many things on that mountain top. I laughed and I cried. I sang and I shouted. I took in as much as I could as the sun began to do it's little dance heading down the western part of the hemisphere. I took the deepest of breaths and said goodbye to the moment promising to forever cherish it.

I got back to my car and for the first time in quite a while...I felt free. I carry this with me now and I pray I don't forget. Of course I guess I could always reflect back on this post as a reminder but I have committed to do my best at following through. Whether that is with placing boundaries where they need to be placed, praying about the things I should be praying about, or focusing on those foundational absolutes. I want to follow through. I want to be not one of just words, but also one of corresponding and echoing action.

Simply,

Gabrielle

**One other learn I gleaned from my trek the other day...as I was walking I could take a bit to look around but I really had to pay attention to my footing. A metaphor arose as I thought about how there were moments when I could look up and walk comfortably and moments when I continually had to look down for each step--which was most of the time--this is a part of the Appalachian trail in the Blue Ridge that we are talking about. But, I was reminded through thinking about this that sometimes God allows us to see a bit ahead, but then most times we have to only focus on the steps he has given us just before us or else we might lose our footing, and sprained ankles hurt!! I can testify I have had more than my fair share! So right now, and I think this goes for most of us in our 20's I can see the couple steps in front of me as they are given. If I dare look too far ahead or try to I may end up missing my step and each step is a crucial one.

Living Introverted When You're An Extrovert

So let's talk about how I spent the last 8 hours, almost 9, sitting at the bar of Cafe Moka... I came in alone and of course ran into more than a few people that I know. I spent the next hour and a half talking with them and then sat down to get some work done. I spent a bit of time writing to a friend in Oklahoma, and then began to work on some Love & Scissors Benefit Dinner tasks. I simply resorted to the same lifestyle I had when I was living in Texas. I made no plans for my day, woke up late, got ready, made breakfast, packed my bags and was out the door by noon. I spent 9 hours sitting at a coffee shop working on my computer and writing letters. Honestly, it was one of the better days I have spent alone since I moved back to Virginia Beach.

There's been a lot of talk around me recently about being extroverted or being introverted or being an outgoing introvert...and so I have been reflecting on where I am in life and where I fall amongst all of these. Part of me jokingly claimed over the past month that I was going to become an introvert so that I wouldn't feel bad about not having made plans with people in the evenings or on the weekends. I used to fill every ounce of spare time I had with something to do or someone to see. It's not too hard to do that here when I have friends from so many different places all in the same community. Well...today I think I realized that I have been choosing to live introverted when I very well know that I am an extrovert.

My job asks a lot from me socially. I am constantly meeting with students, relaying the same information, asking the same questions, answering the same questions, problem solving, answering phone calls, answering emails, going to meetings, etc. Not saying that most jobs aren't like that but recently all of this has been wearing on me in a sense of when I get home I don't want to chat I just want to embrace the silence and make a meal for myself and watch one of my shows. (I'm on a Parenthood/Downton Abbey kick right now.) My time of rest is precious. My time to veg out is necessary. Perhaps I only joked about becoming an introvert because subconsciously I missed those simplistic precious moments to myself.

Well today was full of some me time and although I only accomplished a couple things I feel good about it. I even stayed home from two invited outings which is really weird for me. Maybe it's just a part of growing up? I spent my evening working on some more Love & Scissors stuff but then got to sporadically skype one of my best girls in Colorado. Made my night. Simply the day was sweet. Simply I am thankful.

xoxo, Gabrielle

Elysian

 

I am embarking on this journey of beauty and creativity. I am longing to be divinely inspired and to be overtaken by perfect peace. If anyone asked me after the new year what my new year resolution was I told them I had not made one. I do however have certain things that I am wanting to focus on, or meditate on, or act upon. One of the main things I talked about was my desire to remain inspired. Now, this inspiration could come from just about anywhere. I find inspiration in the conversations I have with people, in the sermons I listen to, in the books that I read, in the scriptures that I meditate on, in my dreams, and out amongst nature. This morning I want to write about how nature inspires me, we shall see if I can even begin to touch on this expansive subject.

I don't remember if I have already shared what I am about to share but if not, I must, because I am sure to reference to it in the future. In past, when I have become overwhelmed in my own thoughts or I have bottled up anxieties or if I have felt that I need a dose of inspiration I take to nature. There's a sort of raw inspiration that comes from being amongst the most natural things on this earth. As one of my professors expressed in my 2012 Theatre Capstone class: "Artist's long to get back to the Garden of Eden." This has stuck with me since then because back in 2012 was when I first started to realize how important it is for me to be out amongst nature. Thankfully Virginia is a perfect state to provide me with both the beach and the mountains and the pastures and the forests. There's something about getting back to where creativity first began.  The creation of creativity...inception? I mean think about it. I just got this image of man kind being created first before light and before the world. It's funny for me to think about Adam just kinda being without anything else. Anything else. No gravity. No air. No light. Nothing. Then I can see creation happening and ohhhh man how Adam would have probably flipped his lid. But, back to thinking on how things really first came to be...

The heavens were created and the earth. I'm thinking that it was probably a precious moment between the Lord and His creation in those first few days. I mean, think about it...the natural beauties around us worship Him...

"The heavens declare the glory of God,
    and the sky above proclaims his handiwork." - Psalm 19:1

"All the earth worships you
    and sings praises to you;
    they sing praises to your name.” Selah" - Psalm 66:4

"And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying,

“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!"" - Revelation 5:13

"...⁴ Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth;
    break forth into joyous song and sing praises!
⁵ Sing praises to the Lord with the lyre,
    with the lyre and the sound of melody!
⁶ With trumpets and the sound of the horn
    make a joyful noise before the King, the Lord!

⁷ Let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
    the world and those who dwell in it!
⁸ Let the rivers clap their hands;
    let the hills sing for joy together..." - Psalm 98:4-8

All of this to say that the earth is precious and the closest tangible, most pure thing I can experience on this earth. There's a sort of heart-sigh that I experience amongst nature. Something that calms me, and inspires me. My spirit rests at the sight of a mountainscape. My eyes are captivated by the details I observe. My heart yearns for more. I had a little dose of this two days ago as I was driving through Blue Ridge Parkway. I only wished someone else was driving so that I could let my eyes wander the ridge-lines of the horizon. I am romanced. 

I can feel it in my deepest of self when I know I need an escape to nature. It's those moments when I need all the space around me to release what I have been holding in. It's those moments where I feel so uninspired that it begins to tear at my creative spirit. It's those moments when I just need a little dose of peace amongst the hectic schedule I keep. 

I was one of those kids that instead of playing on the playground I sat in the middle of the field and picked clovers. I would lay in my driveway and watch the clouds pass by...one time I lost my lion king balloon as I was laying in the driveway and was so distraught...as you can see by my still remembering...it was a traumatic experience for me. I was 5. haha. I was the kid who hung out in the tree-like bushes because I was so small I could sit for hours in their limbs. I observed everything around me down to the smallest detail. 

Remaining inspired is important to me because I live in a busy world with task lists, and schedules to keep, and rent to pay. My desire is to remain inspired so that my artistic spirit continues to live. 

xoxo, Gabrielle

 

 *next time: I think I will write a bit about my experience in Roanoke + about the creative arts group I attend on Friday nights!!! Oh How Exciting!

Not A Valentines Post

Well my friends it's February. I guess I've missed a month of blogging but that doesn't mean I can't start now! So here we go. At least two posts a month. That's my goal. Keep me accountable will ya? ;)

Here's a little dose of what has been on my mind lately. I'm doing some re-evaluating of my time and how I am spending it and where I am spending it and why. Something that I have been trying to be better at is being intentional with people. I'm not sure that I shared that here in my blog at any point in past months, so, if I haven't, basically I have been wanting to not only say I am going to do something but also follow through on those things. A lot of it comes down to my relationships. I don't want to just say that I would like to get coffee with you but I am going to say it and mean it. It can become hard when you walk into a local shop here in Virginia Beach so close to the university I not only attended, but also now work full time at ,because I am bound to see not only one person I know but probably a couple. So basically I am expanding my being intentional with people to also being intentional with my time. 

So what's that look like? Well, I have my absolutes that I am needing to focus on first and then build on those from there. Last semester I dove in head first to my job, small groups, church, and extra curriculars. Let's just say that it was a lot. Especially after spending most days by myself in Texas over the past year. That year went quick. 7 months of being back in Virginia Beach has gone quick. Life is speeding up I swear. So my absolutes are as follows: 

• Personal with the Lord - Daily Manna. Plain and simple. Not saying that time with the Lord is plain and simple. You get what I mean. :) It's an area that needs some work in my life since I moved back to Virginia. It was so easy being home, waking up at 930am and starting my day with the Lord. Now with a full time job and other responsibilities it's a bit harder and so I'm learning. Not failing. Learning, growing, and challenging myself in this new season. 

• Wednesday nights I go to a discipleship group called "Love Feast" - So this group is a group I attended last semester and that's how I met my mentee! (no not manatee) I really get to glean a lot from Sara who is a friend of mine who leads the group and her husband Mike (also a friend of mine) who is a part of my "family group." I feel like a mentor or someone to look up to within my family which is kind of neat. It also makes me more aware that I am being watched. I think it's a really good environment for me to be in. 

• Friday nights I meet with a group of artists called "The Gathering" - I just started attending recently but really they have only been meeting for a little over a month so I haven't missed out on much. Many of the members couldn't believe that I just started attending because they could have sworn I was around when it all started up. I feel at home with these creative and inspirational souls.

• I am a mentor to a 18 year old girl in undergrad who is the absolute sweetest. We meet sometime throughout every week depending on our schedules. I think I am doing just as much learning and growing as she is in our meetings together. The Lord continues to surprise me with the little nuggets of wisdom that come from my mouth. Sometimes it's just what I need to hear as well. I cannot tell you how much I love pouring out and into her life and being of encouragement to her. 

• Sunday's I have church - This is another area where I am looking at where I need to be. I have been attending the same church I went to as a student and for some reason in the past month I have felt like I need to start visiting elsewhere. We will see what comes of this in time.

•  Work Monday through Friday - Of course this is an absolute that takes up quite a bit of my life. 40+ hours of my week to be exact.

• Love & Scissors - If you know me well you know that I am a part of a non-profit called Love & Scissors which is an anti-human trafficking organization that I do administrative, marketing, and event planning work for. I just recently became committed as more than just a volunteer which is very exciting. Big things are coming and we are spending some time dreaming which is always exciting. 

 So with those being my absolutes I am accounting for all the rest of my time which is precious since it isn't much. The rest of my time is spent being intentional with people and taking time to myself. I am needing more introverted moments. More time to myself to write, read, create, and dream. Sweet moments where I come home, make dinner, cuddle up in bed and watch an episode of Parenthood...because I can. More moments of getting off work to make my way to Cafe Moka to drink tea and read or write or knit. Peaceful moments. So good for my spirit. So needed. 

All of this writing, perhaps too much, to say that I am re-evaluating how I spend my time. I want to spend it wisely and to spend it in a manner that has me coming away inspired, or refreshed, or at rest, or excited. You get the idea. 

I suppose that's it for now. Just a long list of things. Nothing to significant or ground breaking. Just a little bit of life. 

 

Here's me // Happy Valentines Day

If you expected there to be some sort of irony in regards to my title of this post...sorrynotsorry. hahaha