F a s t C a r

I adore this song. I have a few memories attached to it. The feeling of weightlessness and peace. The feeling of excitement of the unexpected ahead. I'm feeling pretty nostalgic these days. I'm challenged to dream again. I'm dreaming further and farther. I'm embracing the now and savoring it because I know that soon, this chapter will write off, and I'll be on to the next. 

If there are any memories I can keep...can I keep these?

The Road Doesn't End Here...

It's been a while dear friend. There have been many instances where I have wanted to sit down to blog but the time and place never suited such. Then I get to my hotel room and all I want to do is take a hot shower and curl up with the duvet. Life on the road has been a whirlwind. I definitely cannot believe that it's already mid October. Excuse me, when did that happen?

Let me set the scene for you. It's a sunny but chilly 45 degrees outside. I'm sitting in a cafe called Drip Cafe // Coffee & Brunch. It's a cozy place that will be closing in a mere 30 minutes...so I'm typing crazy quick. Also, partly because that cup of coffee was just so good. There's a beautiful painting on the wall a good 50 feet from me. I could probably stare at it for a good few hours. I guess that detail wasn't necessarily needed but there you have it. Describing rather than showing is an art form in itself. I hope by writing I am growing in that area. To build the connection between what I say and what you perceive.

In any case, all of this to say I have some unfinished business that I would like to attend to. Things such as finishing my documentary on my trip to Colorado, writing about that trip itself (long overdue), writing about my fall travels and sharing some stories of my own and others that have left an imprint on my heart along the way. I want to share the moments that made my heart come alive and the moments that broke it. All of these things and so many more. I've been learning so much and a great deal about myself. There's beauty in the head-space I have been able to acquire this fall. There's freedom in it. I'm definitely thankful for it especially knowing that when I get back to the office I will have to make time to break away and find that head-space. A challenge I am accepting.

Although my time on this road is coming to it's close, it doesn't end here. I'm super stoked about the possibilities of the future. This journey is only a preview.

Colorado Dreamin // Part I

• Scribed while sitting at my kitchen table, window open, peppers and onions on the stove •

It is time. Basically I have found a blissful moment to sit down and write. I have had so much on my brain and not enough time in the day to sit down and write about it all. I'm back logged on blogging. Even now I am getting up every so often to toss my food veggies and then sit down to resume writing. It's beautifully gloomy outside. A bit humid, but I can handle it. The house is quite because everyone's gone and I'm not playing any music. Sometimes my brain needs a break. I can hear crickets outside my window, I can hear my fingers hitting the keys, and I can hear the popping of extra virgin olive oil in the pan. Now that I have introduced the scene I can get to the rest of this happy post.

"How was your trip?!" -- "How was Colorado?!" -- I'm sure Kelsey and I heard these two questions about a hundred times after our arrival back home. Last I spoke of Colorado I told you that we quickly bought the tickets and didn't look back. I also said that if I didn't write while I was out there that I would have plenty to share upon my return. So let's start from the beginning...

The night before we left for Colorado Kelsey and I celebrated a friend's birthday at a restaurant in Norfolk. Come to find out as we were leaving we both had barely started packing. We had a long night ahead of us. The morning of a friend's mom (whom I consider to be a spiritual mother to me) picked me up and dropped me off at the airport. The excitement grew as I walked up to my gate only to find that a good friend of mine (whom I also used to rock climb with) was at my gate as a gate attendant. We chatted about my newest adventure and then before long I boarded the plane and was up in the air. I think I slept only a bit before I landed in New Jersey to connect flights and meet up with Kelsey who was on an earlier departing flight than I was. My heart skipped a beat when we reunited in the concourse of Newark. We both hadn't had breakfast and she had so patiently waited for me so it was the first thing we did. As we sat over our breakfast sandwiches and coffee I asked her about what she felt, if anything, that this trip would be for her. Originally I had bought my plane ticket and then soon after Kelsey hopped on board, which I wouldn't have changed for anything. It was a refreshing moment. Thinking now on the fact that we were at our half way point towards our destination kinda symbolizes where we both find ourselves. I can still remember how it felt to sit there and hear her heart. That is my first cherished moment of the trip. We are both in transition. I said nothing of the blog post I had written the night before but as she kept talking there was more and more connection and commonality for us than I had realized. I eventually shared about my wanting to be expectant and not expecting and she agreed that's where she was as well. What a beautiful start to the trip and a moment I will remember as a budding part of our beginning friendship. 

So how about I leave you with that for now. There may be 20 parts to this tale of adventures west but I'm down for sharing them if you're down for some reading. If you're not, well then, I'm sorry, too bad, because I am sharing them anyway. You're welcome. ;) 

I'll leave you with a photo and believe me there are plenty more to come. I gotta scarf some food and hit the rock gym! 

Freely,

Gabrielle

Expectant Not Expecting

In a mere 24 hours I will have landed in the great state of Colorado for a much needed vacation getaway. I'm saying goodbye to Ol' Virginia for 8 days and hello to those beautiful Rocky Mountains. My heart starts to race just thinking about the majesty that I will behold. I will be staying with a dear sister-friend who is originally from right here in Virginia Beach. Just so happens that the week I threw out to her in hopes of my visit, with less than a months notice, is the only week she doesn't have anything she is committed to with her job. Can you say perfection? So I booked my ticket on July 3rd and didn't look back. Uncertainty is a funny thing. Sometimes the planner in me just has to make the leap, take the step, or make the drive half way across the country to realize although I didn't have it planned out, the Lord certainly did.

Why Colorado you may ask? Well, it helps that I have 5 friends who live out there already. But, other than having connections I felt the pull. I've been to Colorado 6 times growing up. Ski trips with the youth group and a couple times with my family for vacation and my dad's job related travel. The last time I was in Colorado was 2 years ago. I spent Christmas in a cabin with my family. I've only been during winter and fall so being there in the summer is going to be a treat!

I want to find myself humbled. I want to be overwhelmed by experiencing creation in it's rawest and purest form. I'm going back to The Garden. This is a concept I have talked about here before and it's one that I think I will always hold on to. As an artist we can find ourselves overstimulated and overwhelmed with creating. Well, I have something to add to that. As an artist sometimes I can find myself uninspired and seeking purpose. Getting back to "The Garden" is in a sense saying that as an artist, especially as a Christian, I desire to be reminded of why I create in the first place. Getting outside and experiencing creation at it's foundation can be rejuvenating, encouraging, motivating, and affirming. I'm looking forward to, in a sense, a week sabbatical.

So now I get to the point in the blog where I explain why I chose to title this post "Expectant Not Expecting." I'm going into this trip with an open mind and heart. I want to be expectant of great things during my time in Colorado and expectant of great things to come. What I do not want is to go in expecting certain selfish desires. I don't want to find myself expecting because if I try to plan out what I want to happen and it doesn't happen that way then I stressed myself out and put my heart in a place to be let down. This goes for the plans that are made for things I may do while I'm there and it goes for the way that the Lord is going to work on me while I am there. The only things I am expecting while I am there is to experience the Lord and His creation alongside my beautiful friends, That's it. I'm keeping it simple. I want to leave as much room as possible for the Lord to take control.

I hope to be sharing some of my time with you all here. I'll also be posting photos on my instagram and snapping some of my trip. If not, then I will have plenty to share when I return.

Freely, Gabrielle

& with that I leave you with this picture from my last vacation in Iceland

Expect the Unexpected

There's really no way to prepare for the unexpected. How could you know how to prepare for the unexpected when it is not yet known? So why even take the time to say that we should expect the unexpected. I suppose it's because the only preparation we can make for anything unexpected is to have open expectation, to be willing to take on whatever may come.

expect [ik-spekt] 

verb (used with object)

1.

to look forward to; regard as likely to happen; anticipate the occurrence or the  coming of:

I expect to read it. I expect him later. She expects that they will come.

2.

to look for with reason or justification:

We expect obedience.

3.

Informal. to suppose or surmise; guess:

I expect that you are tired from the trip.

4.

to anticipate the birth of (one's child):

Paul and Sylvia expect their second very soon.

To be expectant is to look forward to, to suppose, to anticipate. But none of these things necessarily equate to preparation itself. Preparation is a whole thing in itself but we often pair preparation with expectation like a good glass of wine and fine cheese. I think what I am learning about expectation is that there really is no way to be fully prepared. Especially when on this tiny planet we call The World, living this little thing we call Life.

Life is ever changing and surprising. If we stop to think about it, we live our lives by expectation everyday, preparing as much as we can for what we know the day may hold, and supposing the rest by what information we can gather and piece together for the endless possibilities. I think I have just come to the realization that if I had to choose to live my life one way or another I would probably choose to live an expectant life rather than a life fully prepared. My adventure heart-strings and wanderlust spirit would die within me if I lived a life fully prepared. Now, don't get me wrong, for those of you who know me you know that I am a planner. I am all about the details. But, there is something beautiful about the big picture that I am still learning about. I think my spirit ultimately longs to embrace the big picture. It's exciting! It's inviting! It's adventure calling! There has to be a healthy mix for everyone. I can only imagine the stress and anxiety that some people suffer when they are stuck in a planned and prepared lifestyle, and when I say this I mean to reference to extreme planning and preparing. Cinematically I can imagine a story about a mid-twenty something female who is obsesses over having the planned and prepared life. Only to find that everything that can "go wrong" does, because it's not within her plans or control. Yet, they are only wrong because it's "not a part of the plan." The sad part of it all is that these unexpected happenings could be beautiful, or are, but she is so blinded by her own control that she can't see it. 

I do not want to be the embodiment to this somewhat fictional character. I want to learn to accept change and the unexpected with grace. I want to be able to have peace when a curve ball is thrown my way. I want to be excited about the possibility ahead rather than worried about details of the now and to come. I want to choose that when things happen they are in perfect timing. What a sad life it would be to come to the end of it and realize that it was all about me. What a meaningless life it would be to live it knowing that I was in control of everything and everyone. We would have no sense of accomplishment. No sense of achievement. We wouldn't grow. Simply, we would exist to keep going till we can't anymore, and I don't want that. 

So here we are encouraged to expect the unexpected and this is the first time I have thought about this in-depth. I am hoping that all of these words I just exploded on the page are making sense. I'm coming to the conclusion that being expectant doesn't mean that you have to be prepared. There is movement in our culture to "plan for the unexpected" but I honestly don't think that it's possible to live that way. You can't plan for the unexpected because all we can plan for is what we know may be possible and those are not unexpected things. It's a life lived by faith. It's a life lived in trust. It's a life lived by expectation. It's living a life open to "come what may."

Not A Valentines Post

Well my friends it's February. I guess I've missed a month of blogging but that doesn't mean I can't start now! So here we go. At least two posts a month. That's my goal. Keep me accountable will ya? ;)

Here's a little dose of what has been on my mind lately. I'm doing some re-evaluating of my time and how I am spending it and where I am spending it and why. Something that I have been trying to be better at is being intentional with people. I'm not sure that I shared that here in my blog at any point in past months, so, if I haven't, basically I have been wanting to not only say I am going to do something but also follow through on those things. A lot of it comes down to my relationships. I don't want to just say that I would like to get coffee with you but I am going to say it and mean it. It can become hard when you walk into a local shop here in Virginia Beach so close to the university I not only attended, but also now work full time at ,because I am bound to see not only one person I know but probably a couple. So basically I am expanding my being intentional with people to also being intentional with my time. 

So what's that look like? Well, I have my absolutes that I am needing to focus on first and then build on those from there. Last semester I dove in head first to my job, small groups, church, and extra curriculars. Let's just say that it was a lot. Especially after spending most days by myself in Texas over the past year. That year went quick. 7 months of being back in Virginia Beach has gone quick. Life is speeding up I swear. So my absolutes are as follows: 

• Personal with the Lord - Daily Manna. Plain and simple. Not saying that time with the Lord is plain and simple. You get what I mean. :) It's an area that needs some work in my life since I moved back to Virginia. It was so easy being home, waking up at 930am and starting my day with the Lord. Now with a full time job and other responsibilities it's a bit harder and so I'm learning. Not failing. Learning, growing, and challenging myself in this new season. 

• Wednesday nights I go to a discipleship group called "Love Feast" - So this group is a group I attended last semester and that's how I met my mentee! (no not manatee) I really get to glean a lot from Sara who is a friend of mine who leads the group and her husband Mike (also a friend of mine) who is a part of my "family group." I feel like a mentor or someone to look up to within my family which is kind of neat. It also makes me more aware that I am being watched. I think it's a really good environment for me to be in. 

• Friday nights I meet with a group of artists called "The Gathering" - I just started attending recently but really they have only been meeting for a little over a month so I haven't missed out on much. Many of the members couldn't believe that I just started attending because they could have sworn I was around when it all started up. I feel at home with these creative and inspirational souls.

• I am a mentor to a 18 year old girl in undergrad who is the absolute sweetest. We meet sometime throughout every week depending on our schedules. I think I am doing just as much learning and growing as she is in our meetings together. The Lord continues to surprise me with the little nuggets of wisdom that come from my mouth. Sometimes it's just what I need to hear as well. I cannot tell you how much I love pouring out and into her life and being of encouragement to her. 

• Sunday's I have church - This is another area where I am looking at where I need to be. I have been attending the same church I went to as a student and for some reason in the past month I have felt like I need to start visiting elsewhere. We will see what comes of this in time.

•  Work Monday through Friday - Of course this is an absolute that takes up quite a bit of my life. 40+ hours of my week to be exact.

• Love & Scissors - If you know me well you know that I am a part of a non-profit called Love & Scissors which is an anti-human trafficking organization that I do administrative, marketing, and event planning work for. I just recently became committed as more than just a volunteer which is very exciting. Big things are coming and we are spending some time dreaming which is always exciting. 

 So with those being my absolutes I am accounting for all the rest of my time which is precious since it isn't much. The rest of my time is spent being intentional with people and taking time to myself. I am needing more introverted moments. More time to myself to write, read, create, and dream. Sweet moments where I come home, make dinner, cuddle up in bed and watch an episode of Parenthood...because I can. More moments of getting off work to make my way to Cafe Moka to drink tea and read or write or knit. Peaceful moments. So good for my spirit. So needed. 

All of this writing, perhaps too much, to say that I am re-evaluating how I spend my time. I want to spend it wisely and to spend it in a manner that has me coming away inspired, or refreshed, or at rest, or excited. You get the idea. 

I suppose that's it for now. Just a long list of things. Nothing to significant or ground breaking. Just a little bit of life. 

 

Here's me // Happy Valentines Day

If you expected there to be some sort of irony in regards to my title of this post...sorrynotsorry. hahaha 

"Let's do life together..."

The title of this post is a phrase that surfaces every so often in conversation with my girlfriends. Of course relationships is always a topic on the table and equally so the topic of what we are doing or not doing with our lives. Following shortly after that are conversations of how many of our friends are having babies or just adopted a new pet...for the record my house recently adopted two parakeets and a puppy border collie. Also, this week alone 3 people I know had babies and the pictures of these little ones and others of similar age are starting to hit my instafeed more frequently. What. Is. Life. haha

So back to the original intent of this post, this phrase, "let's do life together." I have a dear friend of mine who I spoke a lot about this phrase with over the past year. My dearest Ashley if you are out there reading this I miss you and we really should Skype soon! My dear friend of almost 10 years and I had many talks of the heart, soul, spirit, mind, life, and adventure. She loved my phrase "let's do life together" so much that back in April she made an image that she shared with me with those very words.

So this phrase came up last night once again when I was hanging out in my house with a big group of friends. One of the couches in my living room had all the married ladies sitting and talking and the topic of how they all met their significant others came up. Of course other girls in the room, myself included, are eating it all up. That's when my friend Jenny mentioned doing daily things with someone and how she just wants that. My mind immediately went back to that phrase, "let's do life together." So I'm not seeing anyone right now. I'm not anxious to be. I'm not needing to "fill a void" or "become whole by finding my other half." & can we talk a minute about that phrase... YOU ARE A WHOLE PERSON whether you are with someone or not. So many clichés, my oh my. I've never been one to long to be in a relationship. It doesn't bother me that I am single. This just isn't the time for me and that's perfectly alright because I'm just going to keep doing what I need to do when I need to do it. My first priority has been to secure a job. Check! My second priority is to set new roots in healthy soil here in Virginia Beach. There was a big reason I completely uprooted myself and moved to Texas thinking I would never be back in VB and I didn't see that until I got back to the 757 and realized that I get a fresh start in a familiar setting. This past year was a blink. I cannot believe that I spent an entire year at home and now Virginia Beach is my home. So I have been given an opportunity to pave a new foundation and so far although it's been crazy, it has been going well and I still feel like I am setting new roots and finding that healthy soil. I'm wanting to form healthy habits and make healthy choices in many different areas of my life. Some areas are receiving more attention than others and I'm working on fixing that but it's been good. I'm so thankful. I've noticed I manage my stress differently now (something I talked about in a previous post) and I've noticed that I'm making better decisions and more mature decisions. It's honestly saving me a lot of grief. I look back on my 4 years here while I was in school and I shake my head and laugh to myself at some of the things I remember about decisions I made and the things I learned and have learned since then. So good. Thank God.

Bah! Rabbit trail! I'm sorry. haha. So anyway, point being, I'm not searching for love, I'm not lost, I'm not lonely (most of the time ;) we all have our moments), I'm not uncomfortable being alone, I'm not desperate...but as I was telling my friend Kelsey: just because I'm not focused on dating, or getting engaged, or getting married, doesn't mean that the desire isn't there. My underlying desire is to "do life together" with someone. I simply want to build upon a friendship to a point where I can see myself spending time every day with that person as my best friend for the rest of my life. & that takes time! ohhh that takes time. So, no rush or anything. 

I just simply desire to sit in a coffee shop and share my day with someone. I want to spend time outdoors exploring with someone. I want to sit in a room curled up on a couch reading with someone. I want to watch clouds pass by and storms roll in with someone. I want to share my family with someone. I want to share traditions with someone. I want to laugh with someone and have inside jokes with someone. I want to make a fool of myself and cherish the way he teases me. I want to sit in silence with someone. I want to run errands with someone (weird, yeah I know). I want to cook and bake with someone and for someone. I want to get in the car and drive to destination unknown with someone. I want to share my friends with someone. I want to share so many beautiful moments with someone because I know they are ever changing and people are starting to go on and about their own lives. I want to encourage someone. I want to face life's challenges and hardships with someone. I want to be an advocate for someone. I want to surprise someone. I want to dote on someone. I want to be selfless with someone. I want to be vulnerable with someone. I want to pursue dreams with someone. I want to inspire someone. I want to stir someone to want to go deeper in faith and become closer to God. I want to love someone and love with my whole being. 

I may have already found myself in hard situations with friends in the past because I give so much of myself into relationships in general, that any significant hurt from those relationships resonate deep. Knowing this, I know that this love, whatever and whenever it may be, is going to be overwhelming. I'm excited and since this phrase is on my mind off and on over the past year and was recently back on the table I felt I wanted to write about it. So thanks for hanging in there if you've made it this far through all that ooey gooey gushy girl stuff above. I'm putting it out there. I'm being vulnerable with my readers and honestly being more vulnerable and real with myself. That's what all this writing has been about over the past year. I'm working on being honest about things and it all starts with being honest with myself.  

Good stuff. Till next time when I write about something not ooey gooey...

It's finally fall & wonderful things are coming!

FINALLY!!!

http://livingadreamersdream.blogspot.com/2014/06/the-long-awaited.html

The first of a several part written series of recounting the days I spent in Guatemala. Tune in for reflections, thoughts and feelings.

On Your Mark. Get Set.

UPDATE #9 -- 2 DAYS TILL GUATEMALA :: It's been about 8 days since my last post so forgive me for not updating you all till just now. The week before a trip like this is always craaaazy. It's bee exhausting but I'm glad I will get to rest up some tomorrow before flying out to Guatemala!

I REACHED MY FUNDRAISING GOAL 2 DAYS AGO! Yay!! Thank you all so much for your support, encouragment and prayers I could not have gotten to this point without you all. I receieved a couple checks in the mail and with those I was able to reach my goal! Praise God!! So awesome!

In other news, been doing some major preperation with unexpected things popping up now and then but everything at the moment has been smoothed out and I am just spending the day wrapping up paperwork and packing!! Be on the lookout Tuesday for a bloggie post (video log) on my blog. I will no longer be updating the YouCaring page and will be absent from this blog for the week, so if you would like to keep up with me this week head on over to --> www.livingadreamersdream.blogspot.com  You can also sign up for e-mail updates on the page!

I have some major packing to do! ¡Ciao!

// Another Update About Guatemala On The Heart For Hearts Blog //

http://livingadreamersdream.blogspot.com/2014/05/fundraising-ends-tomorrow.html

Check it out! :)

15 Day's Till Guatemala!

Posted a little update on the other blog this afternoon! Check it out:

http://livingadreamersdream.blogspot.com/2014/05/quince-dias.html 

Guatemala May 2014

It's here!! 35 days until I leave for Guatemala! As that countdown becomes a smaller and smaller number I'm getting more and more excited! If you haven't seen my posts on Facebook about it this is where I will go a little more in depth on what I am doing with the Hogar Miguel Magone in Guatemala in May!

Almost a month ago I was asked by my dear friend Alli if I was interested in going with her and a team that she works with to be a videographer on their trip to Guatemala. The orphanage which has been around since 1997 started out in a woman's home and now functions out of several buildings dedicated to over 80 children between 3 and 16 years of age. The majority of these children have been victims of abuse or neglect. Over the past 3 years the orphanage has been working with a group called Orphans Hope and Legal Shield as well as other donors to build a home for the girls they have taken into their care. This "princess palace" will be a building dedicated to the girls of the orphanage, whereas before the boys were all separated by age group and the girls only had one section of one of the buildings for accommodation, now the girls will be able to have their own space and eventually the orphanage will be able to expand their mission!

So here's where I come in! The orphanage is constantly in need of donations to keep the orphanage to keep up and running! I have been asked to come to Guatemala to spend a week filming material to be developed into promotional video segments, that will help to tell about the orphanage and their mission, and be used to bring in more financial donors. I will be capturing what an average day looks like for the children and people who run the orphanage. If a picture can speak a thousand words then think of how much more a 1 min, 3 min, 5 min, or 10 min video can speak! I will also be capturing the grand opening ceremony for the Maria Auxiladora Hogar (Home).  Having the footage of the grand opening will be a testament to how donations that have been made over the past 3 years have been such an incredible blessing to these little girls. 

I cannot wait for the 20th of May to come around but then again I still have a lot of preparing to do! Before the 10th of May I am needing to raise $1000 towards my trip. I am working completely pro bono and I am also having to raise my own funds to cover expenses of the trip. You can find a break down of my financial needs on my fundraising site: Send Gabrielle To Guatemala 

I am so thankful for the opportunity to go and serve using the skills I have acquired in the field of documentary filmmaking. Allison (my friend asked me to join the team) and I are fully trusting that the Lord will provide everything we need for this trip and that He will continue to provide for the orphanage even after we return to the states. I started to cry a little over a week ago when she told me the day after I started raising money that someone had already pledged to donate some funds to both of us! If any of you would like to give towards my trip to Guatemala you can find more information on how to do that through the link above or the little widget on the side of this page! :] Any amount helps even 5 dollars gets me closer to reaching the goal! 

Anyone who may have followed my previous blog: A Heart for Hearts I will probably be using the same blog to document my time in Guatemala! I will definitely be posting the link in this blog to direct y'all to the other blog when I have posted there. :]

It's so interesting to think that I never saw this trip coming, yet, here it is! It's really happening! I am really getting to live out part of my dreams as an artist and advocate for those who are suffering or are in need. I have already been learning so much as you all know who have been keeping up with this crazy thing I call a blog. I can't imagine what's coming and I'm so excited for it! If you would friends, be keeping me in prayer for the preparation of my heart, mind and spirit, for the preparation of needful things, for our team and their safety and health; for the orphanage and the finalizations with the girls home; and for the film that comes together after I leave central america that it would be a vehicle for future fundraising and support for the orphanage. 

Psalm 10:14But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.

If you all have any questions about my trip feel free to ask! Also, if anyone would like to share my fundraising link with friends or family that would be so awesome!

p.s. here is a link to the orphanage's website that was made by a volunteer that worked with them at one point. http://www.hogarmiguelmagone.com