Living Introverted When You're An Extrovert

So let's talk about how I spent the last 8 hours, almost 9, sitting at the bar of Cafe Moka... I came in alone and of course ran into more than a few people that I know. I spent the next hour and a half talking with them and then sat down to get some work done. I spent a bit of time writing to a friend in Oklahoma, and then began to work on some Love & Scissors Benefit Dinner tasks. I simply resorted to the same lifestyle I had when I was living in Texas. I made no plans for my day, woke up late, got ready, made breakfast, packed my bags and was out the door by noon. I spent 9 hours sitting at a coffee shop working on my computer and writing letters. Honestly, it was one of the better days I have spent alone since I moved back to Virginia Beach.

There's been a lot of talk around me recently about being extroverted or being introverted or being an outgoing introvert...and so I have been reflecting on where I am in life and where I fall amongst all of these. Part of me jokingly claimed over the past month that I was going to become an introvert so that I wouldn't feel bad about not having made plans with people in the evenings or on the weekends. I used to fill every ounce of spare time I had with something to do or someone to see. It's not too hard to do that here when I have friends from so many different places all in the same community. Well...today I think I realized that I have been choosing to live introverted when I very well know that I am an extrovert.

My job asks a lot from me socially. I am constantly meeting with students, relaying the same information, asking the same questions, answering the same questions, problem solving, answering phone calls, answering emails, going to meetings, etc. Not saying that most jobs aren't like that but recently all of this has been wearing on me in a sense of when I get home I don't want to chat I just want to embrace the silence and make a meal for myself and watch one of my shows. (I'm on a Parenthood/Downton Abbey kick right now.) My time of rest is precious. My time to veg out is necessary. Perhaps I only joked about becoming an introvert because subconsciously I missed those simplistic precious moments to myself.

Well today was full of some me time and although I only accomplished a couple things I feel good about it. I even stayed home from two invited outings which is really weird for me. Maybe it's just a part of growing up? I spent my evening working on some more Love & Scissors stuff but then got to sporadically skype one of my best girls in Colorado. Made my night. Simply the day was sweet. Simply I am thankful.

xoxo, Gabrielle

Elysian

 

I am embarking on this journey of beauty and creativity. I am longing to be divinely inspired and to be overtaken by perfect peace. If anyone asked me after the new year what my new year resolution was I told them I had not made one. I do however have certain things that I am wanting to focus on, or meditate on, or act upon. One of the main things I talked about was my desire to remain inspired. Now, this inspiration could come from just about anywhere. I find inspiration in the conversations I have with people, in the sermons I listen to, in the books that I read, in the scriptures that I meditate on, in my dreams, and out amongst nature. This morning I want to write about how nature inspires me, we shall see if I can even begin to touch on this expansive subject.

I don't remember if I have already shared what I am about to share but if not, I must, because I am sure to reference to it in the future. In past, when I have become overwhelmed in my own thoughts or I have bottled up anxieties or if I have felt that I need a dose of inspiration I take to nature. There's a sort of raw inspiration that comes from being amongst the most natural things on this earth. As one of my professors expressed in my 2012 Theatre Capstone class: "Artist's long to get back to the Garden of Eden." This has stuck with me since then because back in 2012 was when I first started to realize how important it is for me to be out amongst nature. Thankfully Virginia is a perfect state to provide me with both the beach and the mountains and the pastures and the forests. There's something about getting back to where creativity first began.  The creation of creativity...inception? I mean think about it. I just got this image of man kind being created first before light and before the world. It's funny for me to think about Adam just kinda being without anything else. Anything else. No gravity. No air. No light. Nothing. Then I can see creation happening and ohhhh man how Adam would have probably flipped his lid. But, back to thinking on how things really first came to be...

The heavens were created and the earth. I'm thinking that it was probably a precious moment between the Lord and His creation in those first few days. I mean, think about it...the natural beauties around us worship Him...

"The heavens declare the glory of God,
    and the sky above proclaims his handiwork." - Psalm 19:1

"All the earth worships you
    and sings praises to you;
    they sing praises to your name.” Selah" - Psalm 66:4

"And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying,

“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!"" - Revelation 5:13

"...⁴ Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth;
    break forth into joyous song and sing praises!
⁵ Sing praises to the Lord with the lyre,
    with the lyre and the sound of melody!
⁶ With trumpets and the sound of the horn
    make a joyful noise before the King, the Lord!

⁷ Let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
    the world and those who dwell in it!
⁸ Let the rivers clap their hands;
    let the hills sing for joy together..." - Psalm 98:4-8

All of this to say that the earth is precious and the closest tangible, most pure thing I can experience on this earth. There's a sort of heart-sigh that I experience amongst nature. Something that calms me, and inspires me. My spirit rests at the sight of a mountainscape. My eyes are captivated by the details I observe. My heart yearns for more. I had a little dose of this two days ago as I was driving through Blue Ridge Parkway. I only wished someone else was driving so that I could let my eyes wander the ridge-lines of the horizon. I am romanced. 

I can feel it in my deepest of self when I know I need an escape to nature. It's those moments when I need all the space around me to release what I have been holding in. It's those moments where I feel so uninspired that it begins to tear at my creative spirit. It's those moments when I just need a little dose of peace amongst the hectic schedule I keep. 

I was one of those kids that instead of playing on the playground I sat in the middle of the field and picked clovers. I would lay in my driveway and watch the clouds pass by...one time I lost my lion king balloon as I was laying in the driveway and was so distraught...as you can see by my still remembering...it was a traumatic experience for me. I was 5. haha. I was the kid who hung out in the tree-like bushes because I was so small I could sit for hours in their limbs. I observed everything around me down to the smallest detail. 

Remaining inspired is important to me because I live in a busy world with task lists, and schedules to keep, and rent to pay. My desire is to remain inspired so that my artistic spirit continues to live. 

xoxo, Gabrielle

 

 *next time: I think I will write a bit about my experience in Roanoke + about the creative arts group I attend on Friday nights!!! Oh How Exciting!

Not A Valentines Post

Well my friends it's February. I guess I've missed a month of blogging but that doesn't mean I can't start now! So here we go. At least two posts a month. That's my goal. Keep me accountable will ya? ;)

Here's a little dose of what has been on my mind lately. I'm doing some re-evaluating of my time and how I am spending it and where I am spending it and why. Something that I have been trying to be better at is being intentional with people. I'm not sure that I shared that here in my blog at any point in past months, so, if I haven't, basically I have been wanting to not only say I am going to do something but also follow through on those things. A lot of it comes down to my relationships. I don't want to just say that I would like to get coffee with you but I am going to say it and mean it. It can become hard when you walk into a local shop here in Virginia Beach so close to the university I not only attended, but also now work full time at ,because I am bound to see not only one person I know but probably a couple. So basically I am expanding my being intentional with people to also being intentional with my time. 

So what's that look like? Well, I have my absolutes that I am needing to focus on first and then build on those from there. Last semester I dove in head first to my job, small groups, church, and extra curriculars. Let's just say that it was a lot. Especially after spending most days by myself in Texas over the past year. That year went quick. 7 months of being back in Virginia Beach has gone quick. Life is speeding up I swear. So my absolutes are as follows: 

• Personal with the Lord - Daily Manna. Plain and simple. Not saying that time with the Lord is plain and simple. You get what I mean. :) It's an area that needs some work in my life since I moved back to Virginia. It was so easy being home, waking up at 930am and starting my day with the Lord. Now with a full time job and other responsibilities it's a bit harder and so I'm learning. Not failing. Learning, growing, and challenging myself in this new season. 

• Wednesday nights I go to a discipleship group called "Love Feast" - So this group is a group I attended last semester and that's how I met my mentee! (no not manatee) I really get to glean a lot from Sara who is a friend of mine who leads the group and her husband Mike (also a friend of mine) who is a part of my "family group." I feel like a mentor or someone to look up to within my family which is kind of neat. It also makes me more aware that I am being watched. I think it's a really good environment for me to be in. 

• Friday nights I meet with a group of artists called "The Gathering" - I just started attending recently but really they have only been meeting for a little over a month so I haven't missed out on much. Many of the members couldn't believe that I just started attending because they could have sworn I was around when it all started up. I feel at home with these creative and inspirational souls.

• I am a mentor to a 18 year old girl in undergrad who is the absolute sweetest. We meet sometime throughout every week depending on our schedules. I think I am doing just as much learning and growing as she is in our meetings together. The Lord continues to surprise me with the little nuggets of wisdom that come from my mouth. Sometimes it's just what I need to hear as well. I cannot tell you how much I love pouring out and into her life and being of encouragement to her. 

• Sunday's I have church - This is another area where I am looking at where I need to be. I have been attending the same church I went to as a student and for some reason in the past month I have felt like I need to start visiting elsewhere. We will see what comes of this in time.

•  Work Monday through Friday - Of course this is an absolute that takes up quite a bit of my life. 40+ hours of my week to be exact.

• Love & Scissors - If you know me well you know that I am a part of a non-profit called Love & Scissors which is an anti-human trafficking organization that I do administrative, marketing, and event planning work for. I just recently became committed as more than just a volunteer which is very exciting. Big things are coming and we are spending some time dreaming which is always exciting. 

 So with those being my absolutes I am accounting for all the rest of my time which is precious since it isn't much. The rest of my time is spent being intentional with people and taking time to myself. I am needing more introverted moments. More time to myself to write, read, create, and dream. Sweet moments where I come home, make dinner, cuddle up in bed and watch an episode of Parenthood...because I can. More moments of getting off work to make my way to Cafe Moka to drink tea and read or write or knit. Peaceful moments. So good for my spirit. So needed. 

All of this writing, perhaps too much, to say that I am re-evaluating how I spend my time. I want to spend it wisely and to spend it in a manner that has me coming away inspired, or refreshed, or at rest, or excited. You get the idea. 

I suppose that's it for now. Just a long list of things. Nothing to significant or ground breaking. Just a little bit of life. 

 

Here's me // Happy Valentines Day

If you expected there to be some sort of irony in regards to my title of this post...sorrynotsorry. hahaha 

So Let Go My Soul