I'VE MADE A DECISION! So I have decided to post not only my own writings but also writings of others. As you know if you have been following me over the past months I have become a reader! I mean, I'm not reading 3 books a week but I am reading chapters a week in a couple different books which is a big thing for me and I am loving it! I am also reading a lot of articles and some of those I come across touch my heart with such depth I just have to share! So this is the first article I would like to share from my devos today. Funny thing is when I was writing yesterday I had Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) on repeat. I then saw a post on Facebook a video of the same song recorded in studio and then today there's a devotion article on it?!?!?! Coincidence? I think not.
Please enjoy! Be encouraged! I know I was :]
CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO READ THE ARTICLE:
Whole Magazine : Let Me Walk Upon the Waters: This weekend, I took a trip with three close friends to a little place called Cannon Beach on the Oregon coast. One of the places where ...
Two words that don't necessarily go hand in hand, unless that it is I am talking about making progress with patience. Let's be real. I fight with myself over how much progress I am making when it comes to taking those first steps into a new season of life, into that next adventure. I'd like to say that I'm ready. I'd like to say that I know I have what it takes right now. I'd like to say that I am closing on the finish line. Mainly I fight with myself over how much more I could be doing right now. I get down on myself for not waking up every day feeling ready to conquer the world! Send those emails! Send those applications! Make those calls! Honestly, who gets out of bed every morning feeling like that? haha Perhaps I have some unrealistic expectations of myself during this time? It's not bad for me to have expectations of how I should conduct myself or my time. No. Not at all. But, I think I have been missing out on the opportunity to have a little patience with myself. By the end of the day if I haven't done as much as I think that I could have done I basically slay myself with guilt and end up feeling overwhelmed. I overwhelm myself. hahaha. I am my own worst medicine. Now, not every day is like this. Oh no no! This is just something that I am realizing as I type. I have taken a sudden feeling, felt right here and now and decided to expand my thoughts upon it. As I sit in a room that grows darker as the sun sets, I have taken the moment to be in the moment with my thoughts. I didn't accomplish much today. I sent one email. I had a list of things that I could have been doing, but I didn't do any of them. I know that I am oh so incredibly blessed to be able to do just that. I won't be in this same exact season again in my life. So perhaps I'm not out of balance with this season and I only feel that way because I put the pressure on myself of what I feel like this season should look like for me? I'm still figuring it out. As long as I'm not sitting around everyday wondering where life is taking me without making any strides to seek out opportunities then perhaps I am doing exactly what I should be doing in this blessed season.
3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance;a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away;a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace. (Ecc. 3:1-8)
Well folks, the past several weeks have been a jumble of happy and excited moments mixed with anxious moments that pull at struggles with past depression and peaceful moments. Let me be real for a moment. Every night since being home I have struggled with sleeping I know that a lot of it has to do with the transition but I have only had 3 peaceful nights of sleep since being here for almost 2 weeks. The other stems from the monsters in my closet. I was writing a friend today to ask for prayer when I wrote "Like a little kid that is afraid of the monsters in their closet." This triggered my thinking about that very thing. My monsters do not have 6 arms, they do not have fangs and claws, they do not have mangy fur or slimy scales, their eyes do not glow red or green, but they are very real indeed. My monsters have the power to work from within me to destroy me. My monsters are lies, they are doubts, they are insecurities, they steal joy, hope and peace, they make me feel hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, and unworthy of anything good. The monsters in my closet are young and old, some have been with me for years and others have only now showed up. Well today I am claiming a new season in my life. The first step to conquering the monsters in my closet is recognizing that they are there. I think the reason I am just now realizing this is because these monsters are starting to become comfortable with the light of day. They are not only present when I sleep; which I was able to shake off for the day ahead. They are now seeping into the daytime. I am finding parts of my day in doubt or fear or guilt. Now that I recognize that these monsters are real I begin steps to taking back what they don't own. Old monsters and new only have the power that I give them, and because I know I am not strong enough to rid the monsters from my closet by myself I am surrendering the task and every part of each monster. I long to feel freedom again. To breathe fresh air and see the light breaking through the dark.
Something I have noticed about my writing and how I talk with people when I am talking personally is that I am very emotional and descriptive. I don't want anyone to be alarmed by it. Over time I have been told and I have realized that I feel deeply and I experience deeply. I am sensitive, which at times can have its down-sides, but then again when it comes to walking through this life I am sensitive to what comes my way. I used to think that it was a problem and that I needed to fix my sensitivity but over time I have come to know that being sensitive is not a bad thing I just needed to learn how to see it and experience it in a good light. I want to be sensitive to what troubles me, I want to be sensitive to conviction, I want to be sensitive to experience life to it's fullest. To feel deeper and understand more of the Lord's heart and to understand the hearts of my brothers and sisters on this earth because I have struggled with some of the same things that they are or have. If I wasn't sensitive and if I didn't express all that I do I wouldn't be who I am, and certainly if I didn't express all there is to express I would be lying about my life. It isn't perfect. It isn't always daisies and butterflies and I will not try to pretend that it is so people will like me or so people don't have to worry. There is no reason to worry at all about my wellbeing. I don't worry about myself and if anyone would be worried about their wellbeing I feel that I would probably be worried for myself before anyone else could even begin to worry about me. Sounds funny to say but I am not worried because I am encountering God. I am encountering life's challenges and I know that I will come out on the other end. God has brought me from the lowest of lows in my life and I know what it feels like to come out on the other end. Friend, it is the most wonderful and glorious of experiences. The most impactful and life changing experience I have ever encountered. Now thinking about it, these monsters don't seem as scary. Ha.
So that's my life. Perhaps it can be of encouragement to someone out there or just serve as some entertaining reading bit. Whatever it is to whoever is reading there it is, it has been writ.
Also, this song. Yes. This song.
This Is What You Do - Bethel Live
It's always like springtime with You, making all things new
Your light is breaking through the dark
This love it is sweeter than wine
Bringing joy, bringing life
Your hope is rising like the dawn
It's always like springtime with You, making all things new
