Dream A Little ... Dream A Lot

I'll just put it out there right off the bat – I think I've been given way too many dreams for this short little life I will live. I could give you an on-going list of dreams, but I don't think that is what this post is for.

My dream is to live. My dream is to cast visions without limitation. My dream is to take action. My dream is to do my best to live purposefully and not out of reaction. My dream is to find community everywhere I go. My dream is to know who I am. My dream is to know who God is. All of these things make up the dry mix of a beautiful cake with many layers and detail.

Photo Property of Oh Honey Bakes [@ohhoneybakes]

A new friend of mine recently asked me, "If you could ask any question other than the typical small talk questions...what would ask?" The answer I gave him was that of a question I have been asked many times over the past several years: "If you had no limitations...if money, time, and all of those details were of no consequence or worry...what would you do? What would be the dream?" A persons answer to this question can say a lot about them. This summer, I was stumped as this question was asked of me. Honestly...I had put dreaming aside in 2009. "What's practical? What does "the reality" of being an adult tell me is possible?" Stupid. We weren't created to settle. We weren't created to dream and then set those dreams on fire and cast the ashes out on seas of impossibility. Whether it's a simple dream, or an extravagant one, they all have worth, they all have purpose.

Dreaming doesn't end here in the early stages of life. I pray, dear Lord, that I dream until the day I die. I pray that in every new season a new dream emerges. So this week, I've added one to the lot. This is one of those dreams that I'm not so sure about. It's one that I'm not quite sure on how it fits into this timeline of mine. If I were to write down all of my dreams you would be sure to find themes and threads. Some of these would make sense to slap down on a storyboard, but then others seem a bit disjointed. Granted, these dreams are from many different seasons and walks of life. So of course the dream of 10 year old me may not exactly coincide with the later dream of 20 year old me. Dreams take shape. Dreams come and dreams go. Dreams give purpose and motivate us to make the most of the one life we've been given.

Photo Courtesy of Noah Shaffer [@that.barefoot.dude]

Seems that this age I am living is prime dreaming time. It's a time of exploration. It's a time of question. It's a time of seeking answers and making choices. It's a time when the world seems to be an open book. That is...this age can be ALL of that...if I...or if you, let it. So dream a little or dream a lot, but I encourage the latter. Don't become overwhelmed when you do and dreams continue to be birthed like bunnies in springtime.

& with that, I leave you with the following to chew on:

Perhaps the purpose of dreaming is not to run after every dream, but to condition our minds and our spirits to be active in dreaming. You'll know which ones to chase, and I hope you will.

Self Portrait Captured By Kelli Marie 

Dreaming the Dreamers Dream,

Gabrielle

"What are you doing?"

• scribed after the longest and quickest day ever •

I have the strongest desire to write lately. I have so many thoughts I don't know how to keep them all wrapped up in this head of mine. A lot of my writings have been in personal journals which has been very good...but there's also a part of me that wants to continue to share with other people where I am and what's going on in life. Connection. Fellowship. Coffee dates. Lunch dates. Two minute elevator chats. We all have a story to tell. I'm an artist. An actress. A documentarian of sorts (still figuring that one out). Telling my story or helping to tell the stories of others is a deep inset desire and almost natural reaction to the life I live day by day. So my friends...here's my story for today.

I have one question that I have been consistently asking God the past almost 5 months: "What are you doing?" This is not accusatory. This is not disrespectful. This is my declaration, that my life is not my own and I don't always have a grip on reality. This is my humility. This question comes about when I'm on the road with hours between point A and point B. It has come about when I find myself celebrating the matrimony of two beloved friends. It comes as I'm floating down a river, the tips of my fingers grazing the waters. It comes when I'm sitting down one-on-one with a friend, laughing till we both cry. It happens when everything is still, silent, and stable. It came about when I hiked through the Rocky Mountains through the rain and amongst some of the most breath taking scenery. It happens when someone I love has been hurt and I'm infuriated by the injustice of it all. It comes when something ends just as soon as it began. When my worlds are colliding and I'm not so sure we aren't all more connected than we think. It happens when I begin to discover new things about myself. This question is the heart behind all of my hello's, and especially my goodbyes. 

• finished scribing 3 days later over an autumn tea latte •

Sometimes the question is whispered...and other times the question is screamed within the four doors of my little Ford Fusion. Let's be real. This is not the only question I'm asking right now but it's most definitely the question at the foundation of all my other unending questions. This question requires a lot of patience. It's not one that is always quickly or easily answered. It's a bit of good ol' character building. I had such a lovely conversation with a new friend of mine last evening. Lauren Stonestreet and I talked about photography and film and all that comes with being in your 20's and asking this question. She mentioned her perspective in the process of stretching, asking deep and challenging questions of herself and the Lord is that she is like a new wineskin. She is being stretched and prepared for the new unfermented wine to be poured in. There's an important process and preparation for new wine. You cannot pour new wine into an old wineskin because it would burst. It's all about that carbon dioxide and such. There's a pretty good explanation of it online here. Any who, Lauren and I talking couldn't have been more appointed. I may have started to tear up as we talked (I kinda get like that over things I'm passionate about). I'm pretty sure I drowned out all the noise of the late night pizza bar scene that was playing every popular early 2000's pop song known to man. Talk about middle school dance flashbacks! 

I don't have a lot of answers. I'm not going to lie, sometimes it's really uncomfortable to not have answers. I don't like to meditate on the fact that I don't have the answers I might desire to have. Bitterness leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I've experienced way too many people around me who fall into bitterness and it eventually starts to consume them. It makes me sad for them. I don't want that. So I will ask my question. Whenever it may surface in whatever form or fashion it may come about. I'll ask expectantly but not expecting. The one answer I have that brings me peace through the waiting is the Lord's all-knowing and promising response of: "Oh my sweet Gabrielle, just you wait and see." 

& cue the teary eyes,

Gabrielle

• Fall 2014 •