Expectant Not Expecting

In a mere 24 hours I will have landed in the great state of Colorado for a much needed vacation getaway. I'm saying goodbye to Ol' Virginia for 8 days and hello to those beautiful Rocky Mountains. My heart starts to race just thinking about the majesty that I will behold. I will be staying with a dear sister-friend who is originally from right here in Virginia Beach. Just so happens that the week I threw out to her in hopes of my visit, with less than a months notice, is the only week she doesn't have anything she is committed to with her job. Can you say perfection? So I booked my ticket on July 3rd and didn't look back. Uncertainty is a funny thing. Sometimes the planner in me just has to make the leap, take the step, or make the drive half way across the country to realize although I didn't have it planned out, the Lord certainly did.

Why Colorado you may ask? Well, it helps that I have 5 friends who live out there already. But, other than having connections I felt the pull. I've been to Colorado 6 times growing up. Ski trips with the youth group and a couple times with my family for vacation and my dad's job related travel. The last time I was in Colorado was 2 years ago. I spent Christmas in a cabin with my family. I've only been during winter and fall so being there in the summer is going to be a treat!

I want to find myself humbled. I want to be overwhelmed by experiencing creation in it's rawest and purest form. I'm going back to The Garden. This is a concept I have talked about here before and it's one that I think I will always hold on to. As an artist we can find ourselves overstimulated and overwhelmed with creating. Well, I have something to add to that. As an artist sometimes I can find myself uninspired and seeking purpose. Getting back to "The Garden" is in a sense saying that as an artist, especially as a Christian, I desire to be reminded of why I create in the first place. Getting outside and experiencing creation at it's foundation can be rejuvenating, encouraging, motivating, and affirming. I'm looking forward to, in a sense, a week sabbatical.

So now I get to the point in the blog where I explain why I chose to title this post "Expectant Not Expecting." I'm going into this trip with an open mind and heart. I want to be expectant of great things during my time in Colorado and expectant of great things to come. What I do not want is to go in expecting certain selfish desires. I don't want to find myself expecting because if I try to plan out what I want to happen and it doesn't happen that way then I stressed myself out and put my heart in a place to be let down. This goes for the plans that are made for things I may do while I'm there and it goes for the way that the Lord is going to work on me while I am there. The only things I am expecting while I am there is to experience the Lord and His creation alongside my beautiful friends, That's it. I'm keeping it simple. I want to leave as much room as possible for the Lord to take control.

I hope to be sharing some of my time with you all here. I'll also be posting photos on my instagram and snapping some of my trip. If not, then I will have plenty to share when I return.

Freely, Gabrielle

& with that I leave you with this picture from my last vacation in Iceland

The Start of Something Small

Click The Image Above To Be Directed To Vimeo

••• Monday was not my typical day of the week. I made plans with two of my beautiful soul sisters for the day. Monday rolled around and one of them became sick so my dear friend Ashley and I decided to embrace the day together. Coffee seemed to be the best way to kick off the day so we found ourselves at Cafe Stella in Norfolk. We talked of many things. She's an inspiration.

••• This time of fellowship was a bit different for me in-particular. "I've been struggling to be social. I usually have questions after question to ask. I'm not doing well with small talk. The thought of going out and being among groups of friends and other people is overwhelming," I apologized. "Welcome to my everyday life." She replied. What do you do with an extrovert or a verbal processor who doesn't want to be surrounded by people or talk. I've been asked and have asked myself recently if this is just a season of being introverted or if I really am an introvert. I reevaluated myself and whereas a few years ago it was pretty much obvious that I was an extrovert, now, I have a moderate preference of extroversion over introversion. I have a theory about why I think there has been a recent change in my preference.

••• The past two years I have been learning how to be alone...how to be on my own. I moved to Texas where I didn't have any friends and spent most of my time by myself. Coffee shops, my books, my computer, my camera and myself. I then transitioned back into a community here in Virginia and started a job where I spend about 65% of my time by myself. I am alone in my cubicle. I am alone as I travel on the road. At first, being alone really bothered me but that's when I chose to take control of what I could to make my time by myself special. I'd start my days in Texas by opening up the window (if it wasn't a bajillion degrees outside), I'd read, write a little, make a good breakfast, pour a chemex of coffee into my tea cup and embrace the day around noon. On the road I plan my days so that I can visit new restaurants and local coffee shops. I find a museum to venture around or take an 8 mile hike by myself...I know, I know, not safe. But, I only did that one time and it was glorious.

••• All of that to say I am an extrovert that is leaning more towards being introverted over the past month. The past year has been a lot of investing. Investing time in people. Investing time in work. Investing time in activities. Investing time in art. Investing time in students. Investing time in travel. Lots and lots of investing. I'm needing a bit of a recharge I guess you could say. In less than a week I leave for some much needed vacation. Colorado is calling my heart and I must follow it. I'll be heading out to the Rocky Mountains for 6 days. I'm not making many plans but I am expectant of good talks, and silence, long walks and hikes, climbing whatever I can climb, chasing sunsets and sunrises, coffee and good food, culture, and a full range of emotions...because when girl-friends get together and when you're experiencing the Lord and His majesty...it happens. I'm looking forward to filling up with the Lord. I'll definitely be asking a lot of questions and perhaps I will receive some answers.

••• I'll be trying to write a bit while I am out there. I'll definitely be uploading some photos to my instagram & snapchat but other than that I'm going to cut out a lot of other communicative mediums. I'm cutting ties with Virginia for 6 days. So now that I have overwhelmed this post with verbiage to get to something I really wanted to share. True Confession: I haven't filmed anything intentional in over a year. Quite honestly I can't believe that this year has gone by as quickly as it has. If you had asked me as I was driving half way across the country I never could have told you what things would leave their impression on my life 12 months down the road. (pun not intended). In almost exactly a month I will look back and see the purpose in many things, and for the others I will continue forward, expectant of great purpose to come. This clip is a beginning. It's a start. Perhaps my time with Ashley was just what I needed to get started in making the thought a reality. This is my way of sharing what I love, what I find beautiful, what captivates me, what resonates. It's my way of sharing life. My mini venture with Ashley was one of inspiration, observation, and being. In future, I hope to share more moments of "doing life." Here's to the start. Even if it's a small one. 

Freely, Gabrielle

To Be Seen

"I've forgotten how to be photographed," I said. "...I think you've forgotten how to be seen..." she replied.

R O O F T O P S

That Spark

One of my soul friends wrote something that touched my core today. Uncomfortably so...and I'm glad. This is my heart in words. I shared with her that it captivated me and she responded with "...then this is for you and also me. A love letter to every moment... May they be used to hand make our futures!! xoxo..." I feel that there's so much within this love letter. I'll be meditating on this one for quite some time. Have a read. Let it resonate where it will. & then go check out her website! She's most incredibly talented in her photography, her art, her writings and she's published!

We are all looking for that spark,
that one idea,
that one decision,
that will revolutionize our world.
Our spirit.
Our relationships.
Our career.
When we find that spark,
we start making choices.
New choices.
Different choices than before.
We grow immensely or heal rapidly.
That spark is the one that lights the inner fire.
The thing about a spark is in the presence of void it has no power.
Substance and Being must be Present.
The spark must have something to light....Which means that this spark changes your world only when you have a world to change.
A culmination of everything you have learned up until this moment is set in motion.
Set ablaze.
Each shift, each opening has prepared the ground for harvest,
Each log and leaf prepares for the roaring fire.
Leaving an unhealthy relationship.
Quitting that job you hate.
Going to therapy.
Moving on. Or up. Or too.
Starting your dream project.
Having this baby.
Saying yes to whatever you said no to before when you were too scared.
All are big shifts.
But really they are a culmination of little shifts,
little shifts that have been opening ones soul for the leap.
Which is to say:
all of life matters.
The small connections.
The little sentences of inspiration.
That act of kindness.
That act of grace.
That act of selflessness.
The choice to remain present.
The choice to love yourself anyway.
To keep getting up and trying.
Each moment matters if you want the spark that will change your world.
Because it's all tinder.
You won't know which day brings the big change to your door.
But it will come.
It always does to those who collect stick by stick,
moment by moment, placing them together as an altar.
Prepare and gather enough to withstand the hours and seasons of waiting.
So when the spark comes... the fire will roar.
The fire won't die out.
The fire will burn all that does not belong.
www.aglobalwalk.com (Ashley Fincham)

Accompanying Photo By Ashe Arends Photography

Feature: Shine On Inc. // Finding Rhythm: Thoughts On Well-Being and Creativity

So I met this amazing couple a few weeks ago, "The Bergamot," as they are known. They just so happened to play a show at my house for my birthday celebration...but that's a story for another time. Well, the amazingly talented Jillian Speece and I connected that weekend as kindred spirits. Jillian is incredibly talented and skilled in her music as well as in her writing. I follow a couple blogs of hers and one in particular called Shine On Inc. // The Art of Living Brightly. Last week Jillian wrote a post on well-being and creativity that motivated me to ask her if I could share her post on my own blog. The topics of being well and being creative are probably two of the most discussed topics by myself and most of the people I know around me. But, they aren't as often discussed in conjunction. This combined topic has been one that I have discussed with several friends recently and one that I have also spent time processing through on my own.

The assumed lifestyle for creatives is usually one that involves a lot of sacrifice. I spent a good 6 years sacrificing sleep, nutrition, exercise, and my social life. Not all together, and not all at once, but there was a definite give and take depending on the season. By the end of the long journey towards two degrees in the arts in 4 years I was burnt. I took an unintended year of recovery. Without realizing it I chose solitude. I needed to withdraw from being creative so that I could find myself again and rebuild some of those foundations that I had neglected. I learned a lot during that year and part of that was focusing on my own well-being and then dabbling in a bit of creativity here and there. I'm an artist of course. I need an outlet. In any case, Jillian's post inspired by Tom Rath's book Eat Move Sleep: How Small Choices Lead to Big Changes, directly addresses the challenges that we face as artists with living healthy lifestyles and just how important it is to rise to the challenge of living well. It's a lifestyle. It's a choice. It's a challenge. Altogether, I'm convinced that it's worth it.

Click below to read Jillian's post!

Finding Rhythm: Thoughts On Well-Being and Creativity