Ambrosia Tea Room

Today I described myself as a Busy Bee then 5 minutes later called myself a Social Butterfly. I have no idea what is up with the insect references, I guess it was just one of those days.

What does "One Of Those Days" look like:

Today it looked like an escape from the encapsulating fortress that is my home. I packed my bags and drove to a small town 20 minutes from home to have some tea and detox. An hour and a half later I had finished another chapter in the book I just started reading called "Soul Detox." I had downed 3 tea cups of Afternoon Darjeeling with cream and honey and spent some time trying to day-dream. "Trying to day-dream?" -you ask. Yes. I was mentally trying to wrap my thoughts around day-dreaming. I stared at a white picket fence with a small spread of grass behind it and I tried to day-dream. "When was the last time I used my imagination?" I asked myself. Sad to have to think of when I used my imagination last. I know I use my mind to problem solve and create art but I miss coming up with scenarios and stories in my head. I didn't get very far in my day-dreaming because the hostess came by to check on me since I was the only one in the garden view room.

Have you ever tried to create a little romance for yourself? Today was a day when I knew my heart needed to be romanced by surrounding beauty. Feeling a bit lovesick (not because of anyone) just longing a bit for someone. I made a decision to romance myself today. To do special things, to look at the world through a kaleidoscope of colors and simplicity. I enjoyed my reading and drinking my tea and treated myself to a little key lime pie. I did manage to imagine myself from the outside looking in for a bit. That's something I oddly like to do. At any random time I can take the scene and flip it in my mind to see what it may look like from another person's point of view. Strange isn't it? So as I sat looking out the window holding my lipstick stained tea cup in both hands I imagined myself from the outside point of view and I may have thrown the scene setting itself back around the 1890's. And as I write this I continue on thinking about that moment and how I could see other proper women passing by gossiping about how I'm too driven for my own good and how my dreams to travel are farfetched and unreasonable. I imagine those things because that's the kind of person I would want to be back then. So, in today's world it's not bad to be too driven or have dreams of traveling the world but I find other ways to go against the grain of society and it's naivety. I have dreams to touch lives through documentary filmmaking. I have dreams to be involved with organizations that are changing lives of those who are living under persecution of social injustices such as sex-trafficking and genocide. These days I'm not called foolish, far-fetched or too driven. These days I am advised to be careful. When they see the excitement on my face when they discuss the danger of the field I am looking to go into they are taken aback. I love getting that reaction. It is those people who I hope one day will see any of the work I do in the future. Life is about taking risks! I think people have gotten so comfortable with first world living. We are so comfortable where we are what does it matter if anythings happening elsewhere if it's not affecting me here? BLECH! That's what I say to that! I have been called to be a risk taker, knowing that my faith is strong and I am trusting in the Lord's provision. I'm not saying to get wreck-less! But taking risks has to do with faith and because my faith rests on God...I'm good.

So that went in a completely different way than I thought it was! haha.

I ended the day by talking with my grandmother on the phone, eating chili, updating my resume and checking for casting calls in Austin. A Nicolas Sparks feature is being filmed the week I'm in Florida..........DRATS! ;)

Well, that's all for tonight my loves! Enjoy some pictures from my day :]

Patience Young Grasshopper

It's not always funny when someone calls you out on something. But, often I find myself laughing at the various times I am "called out" by God. So I get really frustrated and stressed out during a conversation with my mother and after the conversation I leave the house. I had to get out. The place of a home which used to be filled with peace has recently been a war zone between family members. Now I guess "war zone" may be overdoing it just a bit, so let's just say that home has become an uncomfortable place to be with the quarreling of parents and occasionally my sister who comes home only when she has to. I was that way in college too. I'm not saying I don't have any part in the un-peacefulness of our home, I have had my moments, mainly with my mother. It's a hard transition when you move home after 4 years of never living at home for more than a couple weeks on breaks. You are a different person, and it's not necessarily their fault that they (without thinking about it) assume that you are who you were when you left. They have only had the chance to see you in bits and it's not enough for them to understand you as an independent individual. I'm still struggling with that with my mother. It was a bit easier for my dad because we are so close and he and I are very similar, we still have little moments but they are very few and there is common understanding in the end. That's not exactly the case with me and my mother's relationship. Quite the polar opposite.

So anyway, I'm having a conversation about a couple things pertaining to my future with my mother (which I should have never started talking about in the first place) and it gets to the point where she's asking me questions or making statements that don't pertain to my character at all. Does this lady who birthed me know anything about me at all? Let me give an example: It was like telling Mother Teresa not to steal from the poor OR It was like stating "everything has to have a purpose in life."Actually that's pretty close to one of the things that she said to me. It's like telling me if I'm dehydrated I need to drink water. Duh! Ok, enough with the examples. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm merely trying to convey that whether it be my parent or another person's parent sometimes their "I only want what is best for my child" goggles get in the way of them seeing to the child's heart. Sometimes their preventative measures whether they be in word or physically acted can jump the gun. I think the fact that I was away for 4 years has a little to do with things being suggested or said that don't apply. I know to put my underwear on before I put my pants on, I know that the bunny ears criss-cross and make a bow, I know that a car needs gas to run, I know that I have challenges ahead as an adult, I know that the choices I make now do influence my future, I know that I need to take the real world seriously, I know that just because an good offer is made doesn't mean it is right to take it, I know not to be hasty and I know to do my homework. But, I also understand this: My God has me in the palm of His hand. My God has promised to never lead me astray and if I happen to be that one that takes the detour He will leave the many and go after me. I know My God has a plan, I know there is a plan and I have prayed and I have pleaded with the Lord that He would slam doors in my face if it's not the right one. I am doing my best as a learning and growing young adult.

Mother Teresa turning those tables for your enjoyment.

This post is pretty raw for me but, I also know that it is reality and people struggle everyday. So I'm struggling day to day just as everyone does, but I am also learning from those struggles. I know it's not my mother's fault that we don't always agree or that I struggle to communicate with her on certain levels. Thank God that we are different people! That He makes us unique! She has been there for me in so many other ways, I pray that I can do those same things for my children one day.

I have noticed through this also, that I am looking for confirmation and or a good word or helpful advice a lot from my mother, and its NOT a bad thing at all!! But, in my circumstance I need to be taking a lot of those conversations and thoughts of mine to the Lord. He is, after all, my provision and when I have left mom and dad behind, my relationship with Him is going to be most important of all.

Oh and as if there wasn't enough learning in the novel above! Here's another gem:

Faith and Endurance2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. 

BAM!!!!

 How's that feel Gabrielle? "Can I let you know when I regain my breath from being punched in the stomach?" Yeah. That's how that felt. Here I am enduring one of the most impactful seasons of my life thus far and not once have I said thank you for it. Thinking about it earlier I started to become so much more thankful for all the challenges I have faced thus far and I am hoping I can make that a habit for the future. I used to be so good at remembering to thank God through the trials and challenges but in this season it's something I have forgotten. I know I'm not facing religious injustice, or facing persecution for my faith but the bibles teachings aren't only for one season, one place, one situation or one time. Though these may seems like trivial first world problems they are still a challenge and battle for the one who faces a very real evil who seeks to destroy everything it touches. 

Anyway. That's a real moment in the life of me. 

A couple quotes from today's Jesus Calling that sparked a bit of the thought and learning:

"Bearing your circumstances bravely––even thanking Me for them––is one of the highest forms of praise."

"Joy emerges from the ashes of adversity through your trust and thankfulness." 

Remember that one time I made a new blog...

So I slacked a bit for the past month. Whoops! Getting back in the game of writing before tomorrow because tomorrow would mark a month since my last post. So let me update the world on what happened in the last month. Ready?

Around the time of my last post I started getting ready for a bridal shower I was throwing for my childhood bff Miranda. I was doing most everything by myself but I didn't mind because I love planning things like that. So the 29th was the actual event. I left on the 27th to meet up with the bride-to-be and spend part of that weekend with her before the shower that Sunday. 

So the shower went really well and it was an awesome weekend. I ended up staying till Monday morning and then drove back home which is a 2.5 hour trip. I then had only two days till I drove back for the weekend of wedding festivities. Got our nails done, moved her and the fiancé into their new place, packed honeymoon bags, ran last minute errands and then had the rehearsal dinner. After the rehearsal dinner the bridesmaids and the bride all went to a hotel to stay the night before the wedding the next day. Probably the most fun I have had in a hotel room with girlfriends since high school. The wedding day came and everyone had separate plans for the day of except me so I spent the morning doing my own hair and makeup so I could being on the brides at 1:30pm for a 6pm wedding. It was a relaxing morning. The wedding came round and I was very happy with how her hair turned out after 2 hours. I almost lost it on stage with tears but did what I could to keep my composure. We danced the night away at the reception and then they were off! Funny enough I pulled out of the hotel I stayed at that night at the same time they did the next morning. We opened their gifts at the brides house and I kept track of everything. We then packed them up and sent them on their honeymoon. Phew. So weird to think that so many of my best of friends are getting married. I just had another childhood best friend text me 3 days ago to tell me she was engaged. I also have another wedding I'm in in less than a month! That'll come quick. 

Enough about weddings... I kinda regret giving that play by play because it may not be interesting to others but oh well... it is writ. 

I should be doing more searching when it comes to jobs. I don't want to end up in a complacent state of being. I will hate myself if that continues to happen. There's so much to life and I don't want to miss it. I have to look at it like searching for adventure. The adventure it out there I just have to trust that God is going to provide it and I need to believe in myself that I have the tools and have been prepared to seek out this adventure and be patient. That's a lot of things to do! Hard things too. It's easy when you have professors and deadlines to get things done even if you don't do them right away. I'm facing procrastination and beating my head against a wall to get my mindset straight. Yes, I've been busy but not busy enough to not be hunting for jobs or opportunities at all. Yesterday I sat in Barnes & Noble and about out-did myself with staring at a computer screen for 7 hours. I then came home and continued to work after dinner. Now realizing, I need to remember not to burn myself out with having to do everything or search everywhere at once. So I've gone to Target and I bought myself a teal and grey binder, some sheet protectors and dividers! Felt soooo good to buy some school supplies although i could have come up with other excuses why I needed so many other things that I really didn't need. Isn't that how it goes in Target? So currently my stomach is growling and I have a date with starbucks on my to do list. 

Day 2 of get my life together and stop being complacent... GO! Dear God, give me focus and strength!

Peace Home Skillets!