Patience & Progress

Two words that don't necessarily go hand in hand, unless that it is I am talking about making progress with patience. Let's be real. I fight with myself over how much progress I am making when it comes to taking those first steps into a new season of life, into that next adventure. I'd like to say that I'm ready. I'd like to say that I know I have what it takes right now. I'd like to say that I am closing on the finish line. Mainly I fight with myself over how much more I could be doing right now. I get down on myself for not waking up every day feeling ready to conquer the world! Send those emails! Send those applications! Make those calls! Honestly, who gets out of bed every morning feeling like that? haha Perhaps I have some unrealistic expectations of myself during this time? It's not bad for me to have expectations of how I should conduct myself or my time. No. Not at all. But, I think I have been missing out on the opportunity to have a little patience with myself. By the end of the day if I haven't done as much as I think that I could have done I basically slay myself with guilt and end up feeling overwhelmed. I overwhelm myself. hahaha. I am my own worst medicine. Now, not every day is like this. Oh no no! This is just something that I am realizing as I type. I have taken a sudden feeling, felt right here and now and decided to expand my thoughts upon it. As I sit in a room that grows darker as the sun sets, I have taken the moment to be in the moment with my thoughts. I didn't accomplish much today. I sent one email. I had a list of things that I could have been doing, but I didn't do any of them. I know that I am oh so incredibly blessed to be able to do just that. I won't be in this same exact season again in my life. So perhaps I'm not out of balance with this season and I only feel that way because I put the pressure on myself of what I feel like this season should look like for me? I'm still figuring it out. As long as I'm not sitting around everyday wondering where life is taking me without making any strides to seek out opportunities then perhaps I am doing exactly what I should be doing in this blessed season. 

3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace. (Ecc. 3:1-8)

2014

2011

So I Was A Wanderer For A Week

Happy New Year Everyone! This first post of the new year will most likely have a ton of information since the last time I posted was quite some time ago! I apologize in advance if you become overwhelmed with the amount of information in this, my first post of 2014. I have a three hour flight from Norfolk, VA to Dallas, TX so I decided to use this time to write since there is so much to say and it’s all still fairly fresh in my mind. 

Let’s start with a run down of how the past month has been:

CHRISTMAS TIME!

I really enjoyed being home to help with decorating the house and just take in all the christmas goodness that comes with being home for the holidays...or in my case being home for who knows how long. My little sister came home and I was there waiting for her which was really fun. 

Moving on! Because what I really want to talk about comes after Christmas! (yes I did start a sentence with ‘because’)

Ok so Christmas was fun and all but I was really looking forward to getting back to Virginia! I cannot tell you how good it felt to be traveling on my own again. I know I just took a trip to Florida back in November, but this trip was a tad different. I was making my pilgrimage back to the state where I first found my independence! Something I have been missing a lot with being back in my parents home.

ADVENTURE!

Why did you fly to Virginia Gabrielle? So glad you asked! Well, I have a dear friend who got married on January 4^th! I was invited to the wedding and decided to offer my coordinating and directing skills for the wedding weekend! The night I arrived in Chesapeake we immediately got to work on the wedding. This was my third wedding with the Morgan family in 2.5 years. Back in June of 2012 I did hair for Emilie Morgan and a couple of the Morgan sisters in her wedding. In June 2013 I Directed Olivia (Morgan) Dyer’s wedding and this January 4^th I directed Katherine (Morgan) Lee’s wedding! Can I just say that I absolutely adore the Morgan family! They are the type of family who adopts anyone who walks through the doors of their home.

THE WEDDING!

Friday & Saturday of last weekend were two of the craziest days I have experienced in the past 5 months. You can probably guess that we had a lot to do to get ready for the wedding Saturday afternoon so I won’t go into the boring and dramatic details of it all. I will say this: I honestly could not have kept everything straight without the help of the most amazing people! So THANK YOU if you are reading this and you were one of those people who helped me survive the weekend and helped to make the day a beautiful success! One thing when it comes to directing friends’ weddings is that as the director I don’t get a lot of time to visit with people. I do wish I had had time to see and talk to some of the people who attended the wedding that I haven’t seen in so very long! 

Something I noticed at the end of the day is that I was able to recall A LOT of information so much easier than when I was in a season of being in school and working. I think it helped that I took 5 months off of working on anything of that magnitude! It was stressful but not in an overbearing way, I loved it! Hey! They’re Hitched!!

So the wedding is over and we have just about finished clean up for the evening when I all of the sudden felt so much repressed emotion beginning to overwhelm my senses. The second I got into the car with my friend Kadi I had to let her know that I was perfectly happy and not to worry because I knew I was about to bawl my eyes out and it was going to be ugly! Haha. Soooo I may have cried the whole 20 minutes from Triple R Ranch to the Morgans house. It was such an amazing relief to just let it all go! 

VIRGINIA IS FOR LOVERS!

Yay! SO the wedding is over! We had a lovely pancake breakfast celebration the next morning and then all parted ways. I went to Big House church with Olivia & Jacob Dyer that evening and spent that night in Ghent. I won’t give you a play by play of the entire weekend because that would make for a ridiculously long post that I’m sure I wouldn’t even want to read! But here’s how the week kinda played out:

1. I didn’t have a car so I was bumming rides off friends and taking my schedule day by day 
2. Sometimes I was stranded in odd places of Hampton Roads...like the panera in Great Bridge for 3 hours!
3. I made my way from Chesapeake -> Great Bridge -> Norfolk -> Virginia Beach -> Great Bridge -> Norfolk
4. I visited with as many people as I could in the week that I had some of the lovely people included: Karlie, Kadi, Olivia, Jacob, Gabe, Ashe, Sarah R., Justin, Rachel, Sarah G., Stephen, Katie, Christen, Keith, Chelsea, Alex, Liz W., C.J., Jude, Dr. K, Dave G, Jenny, Adam, Kim H., Kim & Jared Beasley, Chris & Anna Free, Danny, Graham, & Mary. There were so many more people I wish I could have visited with but since I didn’t have a car I was kinda limited.
5. I went to every coffee shop except for Bean There. (Moka, Stella, Cure, Starbucks)

I think the thing I am most thankful for is the fact that I had the opportunity to process with people. It’s interesting living in Texas for many reasons, a couple of those including the fact that I live with my parents and that I live in a city that I am unfamiliar with. I don’t have regular conversations where I’m processing life with people. I don’t have people who are processing life with me as I listen. I don’t have people pouring into my life as I pour into theirs. I never realized how much I miss that until I got to virginia and started to talk and I couldn’t stop. I’m sorry friends for all the word vomit!! 

The really cool thing is that when I was processing life with people I was learning and realizing the realities of what life has been like over the months and how I have grown as an individual. It took me flying across half the country to look back on the past 5 months from a distance and process it. It’s true when they say that sometimes you have to be on the outside looking in or you have to take a step out of the situation at hand to get a complete grasp on it, to see it for what it really is. 

Here are some of the questions I was asked over the past week by multiple people:

1.   Is it different being back? Does it feel weird?

Honestly it didn’t feel weird or abnormal to be back in Virginia, It almost felt like I was coming back to school after Christmas Break. It was weird not having a car but life worked itself out to get me where I needed to go. It was different being back for sure. I mean it didn’t feel like the world did a complete flip on me, but it did feel different in the sense that I closed my chapter of living there back in August. It felt different in the sense that some of my friends and professors have moved on to new and exciting things. I know that people have had a whole 5 months of changes in their lives that I haven’t been around to see or hear about so of course that was a bit different, but for the most part everything was almost as I had left it. 

2.   Now that you are able to look back on being home what has that been like?

Such a loaded question. Here let me just let you watch a recorded video of that, it just may be a little faster than me explaining it all to you. Haha. Totally kidding. But seriously this one was one that I answered a lot so I will try to get all the important details in there as well as try to keep it simple. 

When I went home, I didn’t know quite what to expect. I went home knowing I needed rest. I went home knowing I had 2 weddings that I was a bridesmaid for in coming months. I went home knowing I had resume’s to build and a reel to edit together. I went home knowing that I was going to have a lot of free time and that I needed to fill that time with being productive as much as I could. But here is what came of all of that: 

I rested. Oh yes! I slept in and took naps! I started reading! Whoa!!

I traveled with my parents on business to New York City and Orange County, California!

I planned a bridal shower & stood at my best friends wedding.

I spent a week in Florida helping another best friend with preparation for her wedding and then stood at her wedding as well!

I made three resumes and kinda made a reel. When I say kinda I mean it could be tweaked here and there I guess but I’m pretty happy with it!

I became friends with my little sister! This has been the most beautiful development over the months. I never saw it coming and I could not be more blessed to have such a sweet relationship with her. We are being vulnerable and open with one another for the first time in the history of our lives. If it was God’s plan to have me come home thinking it was to find a job and in reality it was so my sister and I could mend our relationship and become friends then so be it! I am so incredibly blessed beyond belief. She is so precious to me.

It has been difficult at times to be home for several reasons, one being the fact that I miss my independence. I miss being set apart from the lives of my parents. Being home I have to be considerate of their plans and schedules which I’m fine with but sometimes a girl just needs the space and freedom to just ‘do’ things cuz she can and wants to. I miss the simplicity of things. I miss coming home after a long day to my cute little studio apartment. I miss the time to myself where I cooked dinner and spent my evening, crafting, knitting, reading or catching up on a comfort show. I can do this at home for sure but it’s different when you have anything and everything you could need in life at your finger tips. Simplicity and precious moments are some things that I miss not living on my own. 

3.   What's next for you? Any plans to move anywhere? Have you applied to any jobs?

Well I wish I had an exact answer for this question. I have applied to some jobs and many paid internships. I have sent countless emails and had several phone conversations for possible job fittings, but nothing has blossomed yet. I'm not worried although I do feel the pressure to figure out how the next piece fits to my puzzle. I am taking it day by day. Learning to lean not on my own understanding. Learning to be ok with not knowing what the future holds. I am growing ever so in love with the idea of exploring the open waters. Bear with me while I make a ton of metaphors! haha. Life is an open book. I am writing one sentence at a time. I don't have a writing prompt to drive the chapters to come other than letting them be written when they are known and the time is right. I am reminded time and time again about how this time of life is one that I will never have again. This season is a unique one. I am thankful to have so many wonderful people speaking life over me. So many people who have encouraged me. I am expectant and waiting. I am seizing open doors of possible opportunity. I am in this season and learning what it is all about as I go.

So I started writing this on my plane ride and then got to Texas and never finished. Go figure. This post is already long enough as it is so I may just end this one here. There's always something else to write but seeing as how I have already exhausted this post I will leave more thoughts for later ones.