#NeverStopExploring

I just love this commercial and feel so inspired every time I see it. I love this time of year.

ACT I

ACT ONE

INT. BEDROOM – AFTERNOON 

FADE IN.

A very cozy GABRIELLE, 22, sits on her bed wrapped up in her quilt. She has just finished reading another chapter in one of the many books she is making her way through this fall. The room is lit by the her window with curtains and blinds drawn, and by her beloved, slightly worn and torn paper lantern lamp. Outside it is a perfectly gloomy day with grey skies and the feeling of a winter front on its way. GABRIELLE sits reflecting what she has read and some new things she has learned recently. She begins to type her thoughts down for those who follow her on blogger.

GABRIELLE (V.O.)

I need more eggnog. (she sighs and collects herself)  Last night I was sitting in Chipotle with my mother and decided to discuss something that I had been thinking about earlier that day. Every time I go to search for a job anxiety floods my system. My blood pressure raises, I know this because suddenly the whole room is ten degrees warmer than it just was. You might come to the conclusion that I am having anxiety because I am worried about my future and looking for a job brings about the worry of the unknown and the "what-ifs". I will have you know that this is just simply not the case. If it were the case then I would not only be having these anxious moments when I get online to search for job listings...I would be feeling like this constantly, it would always be on my mind. 

She gets up to open her window, sits back on her bed indian style and breathes in the cool breeze that is rustling the leaves in the street below.

GABRIELLE (CONT'D)

After taking some time to think about it I have come to the conclusion that not having structure to the job searching process is pretty much boiling my anxiety level. My profession requires a lot of creativity and I guess you could call it improvisation when it comes to searching for a job. If only they had a site called: www.igotmyfilmdegreefindmeajobinnonprofitsocialinjusticeadvocacy.com. & now I'm reminded of the state farm commercials "Insurance find me money!" Ha-Ha, Love those. So yes. I have come to the conclusion that my anxiety of starting the search new by day doesn't have a lot of structure to it. I am having to get creative with where I look and who I email. I'm really not worried about finding a job. There is one out there. It's for me and I am for it. I have come to realize over the past couple months that this time of me being home "searching for a job" couldn't be written about in a book entitled: I Moved Home & Searched For A Job. If anything, it could be called all of these: 

I Moved Home &...

Rested

Traveled To My Second Home: Denton, Texas

Threw A Bridal Shower For My Best Friend

Spent Quality Time Re-Watching LOST With My Dad

Became Friends With My Little Sister

Started Running Again & Stopped Again & Started Again

Found A Church To Worship and Grow With

Went To California For A Weekend

Went to NYC For A Weekend

Started Reading For Pleasure

Stood As A Bridesmaid In Two Best Friends Weddings

Wrote Letters To Loved Ones Afar

Traveled To My Third Home: St. Augustine, Florida

Became An Overcomer

Started A Blog About This New Season

Started To Learn More About Myself

Continued To Grow

Started To Learn More About God

I Moved Home & All These Things

Maybe it would be entitled "I Moved Home &" and all of the above would be my chapters. Kind of an interesting idea. This is totally out of screenplay formatting now but I'm rollin' with it. Breakin' the rules! I'm a rebel.

She picks up her book to remind herself of what she wanted to write about next.

GABRIELLE (CONT'D)

Oh! Yes. Act II.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE

The Lock On The Door

C L I C K   A B O V E   ! ! !

This is a short film one of my dear friends from film school just made for a class. One night Chelsea and Gabrielle were sitting in the Housing Office "doing homework" when they started talking about short film ideas. I think I had a project coming up that I needed to shoot. So Chelsea mentioned an idea about this couple who recently broke up who cross each other's paths and they both have these flashbacks of their past relationship. So we talked about it for a long time, got excited brainstorming ideas and well... here it is! Chelsea of course completed the project but I am happy to have been a part of some of the inspirational brainstorming for this little short. ALSO absolutely love Justin & Meghan!! They are just the best! This get's me excited to see everyone when I make my way to Virginy in January! 

The Bonds of Those You Love

I am struck tonight by the beauty of friendships. My heart is full of thanks for friendships that have withstood the challenges that years and seasons bring. I sometimes forget all the little things that brought these friendships to where they are today and now as I look back on those little moments they are so very dear and precious to me. Oh God, I am so thankful. I am so glad that I have overcome challenges in my life with the help of loyal friends. I am so glad that the challenges within my friendships have taught us and grown us. I am so glad that there are seasons in these friendships that never leave an idle page. I am thankful for shared tears. I am thankful for roaring laughter. I am thankful for fun dumb ideas. I am thankful for compassion and empathy. I am thankful for forgiveness and understanding. I am thankful for vulnerability. I am thankful for companionship. Thank God. Thank God.

//Now enjoy some of my photography from this evening//

In The Spirit Of Thanksgiving

I think I may have said this in my last post but I have come to the realization that this season is a season in which my heart is being ministered to. Heart Ministry. I like that saying. It's amazing to me to think back about 5 years ago and see what all has occurred in my life over the span of 5 years. Not only graduating high school and college and joining the real world on a hunt for a job but also the conditions my heart and spirit have been in over the years. I kinda want to laugh out loud right now but I am sitting in a Starbucks with people all around me and I may get some funny looks.

Now it's time for real moments with Gabrielle, the part of the blog where Gabrielle comes out and shares a real moment:

Now this real moment kinda ties into what I wrote in my last blog post. For any who haven't read the last one... #1. um why haven't you? #2. I mainly talked about the challenge I have accepted to accept that I am created the way I am for a reason. I have a double major for a reason. I am living at home with my parents for a reason. God has purpose and I shouldn't be discouraged when I see others working and fulfilling their dreams. Their dreams may not always be my dreams and their talents are not always the same as my own. I am unique. You are unique and we all have different purposes and plans. How wonderful to think that God has a specific and unique plan for everyone! No one is the same. What's not to love about that!? Your plan and my plan are exclusive to us individually. SO yeah. That's basically what I talked about and expanded on my struggle with that in the past years. Soooo... I'm reading this other book. Not the book I quoted in my last post. I am reading two books and the book I picked up to read today I haven't read since I left for one of my best friends weddings in FL. Todays chapter (I'm pleased to say I am on chapter 7! That's quite an accomplishment for me!) is entitled "Green with Envy." God's got something to say to me and I'm listening. (Soul Detox, Craig Groeschel)

Our Friend So-crates says this: "Envy is the daughter of pride, the author of murder and revenge, the beginner of secret sedition and the perpetual tormentor of virtue. Envy is the filthy slime of the soul; a venom, a poison, or quicksilver which consumeth the flesh and drieth up the marrow of the bones." 

Basically:

Envy = Daughter of Pride

Envy = Author of Murder

Envy = Author of Revenge

Envy = Tormentor of Virtue

Envy = Slime of Soul

Envy = Venom

Envy = Poison

Envy = Consumes

Envy = Dries Up Bones (like cancer)

Envy... yeah. Not a cool thing. Yet we all struggle with it. I shared how I struggled with my discontent in who I was, what I know, and where I am in life. What's the opposite of Envy? Give you one guess........... Thankfulness. Hey! Guess what!? It's November!!! Isn't thanksgiving next week or something? Yeah. Secret (last week I though it was this week). 

We should be thankful of what we have whether it is material or immaterial. "When we see God's goodness in the lives of others, we shouldn't allow ourselves to feel resentful." -Soul Detox 

Real moment with Gabrielle. I felt a little hurt and resentful when my internship fell through back in January. Long story short... I got an internship that would turn into a job by May. I was going to be associate producing a new documentary with an amazing team. After the first week of my internship went by I was informed that the documentary was no longer and my "boss" was getting married instead. I rejoiced with her and had peace about it until later on when I came to the end of my internship and all I had done was collect 90 pages of research and turned it in to complete a credit. I felt like I missed out on learning a lot and developing more of my craft. Then come to find out that my "boss" joined another team across the country, didn't get married and is successful and traveling and living the dream. I dealt with some hurt which turned into resentfulness and a little bit of envy. I didn't understand why it happened. Why I didn't start traveling the world and raising awareness for the causes I care about and the people I care about even more. I didn't understand why I had to go home. I didn't understand why I am where I am in life. Seriously. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Today I read a status update from my friend and former internship "boss" and it talked about how excited she is to be traveling and making a documentary on slavery. I thought to myself before reading it that I probably shouldn't read it because then I would become upset but I read it anyway and you know what... I'm not upset. I'm excited for her. I'm excited to see what comes of what she is doing. We are working for the same cause... well... she's working right now and someday I will be too! I have done little things here and there for advocating against social injustice and now's a time to learn some new stuff. Now is a time that my heart is being ministered to. Now is a time that I am realizing where my heart needs some work. To be thankful for all things. To be thankful in all times. To be expectant of Glory to come. Today is one of the first days where I haven't been sick to my stomach when I start to think about my future and the present. 

"If the grass is greener in someone else's yard, maybe it's time you watered your own. How long has it been since you've taken stock of what God's given you and said "Father, thank you"?" - Soul Detox

"When we look at other people comparatively and competitively, we're not seeing them as our brothers and sisters. We're not loving them more than we love ourselves, and we're definitely not seeing them as God sees them." - Soul Detox

"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." - Soul Detox

Another challenge to process and act on. Let me be clear about the above real moment I shared... I don't sit around and pout or think about how I loathe being where I am right now or resent what other people are doing but when I am feeling discouraged it's where the enemy attacks. I am closing the door on those open targets and God is making my heart a bit more peaceful which does wonders for my anxiety levels - go figure! haha 

That's it for now! God Speed Friends!

Slap Bet

If you are familiar with or are a regular follower of the How I Met Your Mother series you might be familiar with the term "slap bet." For those who don't follow the series or haven't heard of this term, it refers to an bet made between Barney and Marshall in the series. The winner of the bet would win the slap bet therefore giving the winner rights to give a slap across the face of the loser as hard as he can muster. At any given time. Painful? Yes. I would think so.

So now you ask why I may have brought up such a term? Well, this is the best example I can give to describe how I have felt at different times in my spiritual walk. Most of the time I don't see it coming...a convicting slap to the face. Although it may not impact me physically, it hurts just as bad if not worse than being physically slapped across the face.

Now to tell you how this happened. Just this morning I was reading a book I just started by Craig Groeschel called "Altar Ego." I am a couple chapters in...in fact, I just finished chapter two this morning, so that is very accurate. Today's chapter is called "you are God's masterpiece" and the quote that follows says: "When Love and Skill work together, expect a masterpiece." ––John Ruskin. So I'm reading and Craig talks about how "God created every individual with purpose, God is constantly molding us into His masterpiece, He saved us so we could bring glory to Him and make a difference in the world, you as an individual are divinely inspired and it wasn't by chance or accident that you were made the way you are." Yup. Yup. Things that many of us have heard before, things I know I have heard before. It's always nice to be reminded, it definitely takes the pressure off of me as an individual that I am constantly putting on myself to be or do. But, those things are not what resonated with me today.

Here comes the slap! I'm reading, I'm reading and then WHAM! Ouch.

Ready? Read the following:

"Out of all the nearly infinite possibilities, there was no better time for you to be born with your unique gifts, talents, skills, and personality. God knew you before you were, and He put you right where He wanted you." 

Keep goin...

"Because we have not grasped who we are, we work hard to focus on all the things we are not. Consequently, we are not living out of our true purpose; no wonder we're frustrated."

There's more...

"You are God's masterpiece. Wouldn't it make sense to ask God what you should do with your life? ... Your purpose is far beyond this life... As God's masterpiece, called to do his good works in a way that is all your own, you have everything you need to fulfill your purpose...He doesn't ask people to do something then realize later that they weren't equipped to do it."

Oh, it get's better...

"...some people have something I call "masterpiece envy."...when we compare ourselves with each other, we are not wise. Instead we should be focusing on the unique ways that God created us. We say, "I wish I could do that!" Instead, we should be discovering and acknowledging those things we can do. What are the things you can do that other people cant? God has given you everything you need to do everything that he wants you to do."

#thestruggleisreal

"Other people were created to do those things, and it's my great joy to let them live out the talents God made them for. Stop focusing on the things you can't do. Turn your attention to the things you can do... Start meditating on the truth about you: "I am the masterpiece of God. I'm a new creation in Christ Jesus. I already have everything I need to do everything God wants me to do."

And the cherry on top...

"You are who you are –– You are where you are –– because He set you on this path, plotted this course for you."

I'm still feeling the sting of that convicting slap. Let's be real for a moment. Here I am, where I am...a college graduate with two degrees, living at home with the parents, searching for a job and in the meantime not working a part time job. The struggle is real as I mentioned above, for many reasons. The struggle is real because I am used to being busy. I am used to piling my to do list high with commitments. I am used to going from one activity to the next. I am used to multi tasking. I have experienced what it is like to overcommit and I have suffered the consequences. You may think I am lazy for not having a job at the same time as searching for a full time position. Well, I am not necessarily doing what I am doing because that is what I want to do. God is teaching me to rest. He is teaching me to be patient (so hard!). He is teaching me to walk in faith. He is teaching me to trust. He is teaching me about myself and He is ministering to my heart through people, events and time spent with Him. I have been very blessed to be in a season like this although it has been hard because I am going against the only grain I have known in my life. Heck! I worked 3 jobs this summer, coordinated, attended and did hair for weddings and made time for fun with friends, then drove 31 hours home and stopped! Talk about a shock to your system! There is so much I have been learning and I know it is only the tip to the iceberg. 

I have come face to face with the reality that I doubt my training and preparation for the future dreams God has placed on my heart. In other words, at the time I didn't realize it, but I was really doubting the plan that God had for my last 4 years. I started thinking of all the things I could have or should have done. I thought about how I double majored and didn't just focus on one ability or strength in my life to master in. I've been thinking about how every job I have been looking into everyone wants an expert in one area. I have more strength in certain areas than others but I don't think that there is one thing I have mastered in. The reality that I have been shoving aside is that it's ok. There is a plan far greater for me than my own for myself. 

Like Craig said in his book: "what is it that you can do that others cannot?" Well, I know I have been told before, but I chose not to accept the words given to me till now... Not everyone can be so versatile. I am a flexible and versatile person. I can do many things well but I haven't mastered at one thing. Honestly, I think if anyone thinks He has mastered at anything it is then that He has failed. There is always more to learn, there is always somewhere to grow and develop. God is the master designer, the master artist, the master creator, the all knowing and all encompassing. That's a very humbling way to think about things. No one is perfect, because only One is perfect and complete. For far too long I have compared my talents, skills, and personality with others. They have what they have to complete the plan and journey the road they are on, and I have what I need to journey the road I am on and complete the tasks that present themselves and ultimately bring glory to God through His masterpiece. The challenge is this: take everything I have just read, the realizations I have just had, and take that convicting slap across the face and change my mindset. Learn from it. Do not simply know it. Act on the wisdom that has presented itself. 

Challenge.... wait for it.... ACCEPTED! Challenge Accepted!

So here I am. Teach me what You have to teach me. Grow me. Stretch me. & If it means another convicting slap to the face, then so be it. 

My Florida Getaway!

I have so much to say about my 12 day florida trip which I will have to write about tomorrow! In the meantime... here is some beautiful music:

Ambrosia Tea Room

Today I described myself as a Busy Bee then 5 minutes later called myself a Social Butterfly. I have no idea what is up with the insect references, I guess it was just one of those days.

What does "One Of Those Days" look like:

Today it looked like an escape from the encapsulating fortress that is my home. I packed my bags and drove to a small town 20 minutes from home to have some tea and detox. An hour and a half later I had finished another chapter in the book I just started reading called "Soul Detox." I had downed 3 tea cups of Afternoon Darjeeling with cream and honey and spent some time trying to day-dream. "Trying to day-dream?" -you ask. Yes. I was mentally trying to wrap my thoughts around day-dreaming. I stared at a white picket fence with a small spread of grass behind it and I tried to day-dream. "When was the last time I used my imagination?" I asked myself. Sad to have to think of when I used my imagination last. I know I use my mind to problem solve and create art but I miss coming up with scenarios and stories in my head. I didn't get very far in my day-dreaming because the hostess came by to check on me since I was the only one in the garden view room.

Have you ever tried to create a little romance for yourself? Today was a day when I knew my heart needed to be romanced by surrounding beauty. Feeling a bit lovesick (not because of anyone) just longing a bit for someone. I made a decision to romance myself today. To do special things, to look at the world through a kaleidoscope of colors and simplicity. I enjoyed my reading and drinking my tea and treated myself to a little key lime pie. I did manage to imagine myself from the outside looking in for a bit. That's something I oddly like to do. At any random time I can take the scene and flip it in my mind to see what it may look like from another person's point of view. Strange isn't it? So as I sat looking out the window holding my lipstick stained tea cup in both hands I imagined myself from the outside point of view and I may have thrown the scene setting itself back around the 1890's. And as I write this I continue on thinking about that moment and how I could see other proper women passing by gossiping about how I'm too driven for my own good and how my dreams to travel are farfetched and unreasonable. I imagine those things because that's the kind of person I would want to be back then. So, in today's world it's not bad to be too driven or have dreams of traveling the world but I find other ways to go against the grain of society and it's naivety. I have dreams to touch lives through documentary filmmaking. I have dreams to be involved with organizations that are changing lives of those who are living under persecution of social injustices such as sex-trafficking and genocide. These days I'm not called foolish, far-fetched or too driven. These days I am advised to be careful. When they see the excitement on my face when they discuss the danger of the field I am looking to go into they are taken aback. I love getting that reaction. It is those people who I hope one day will see any of the work I do in the future. Life is about taking risks! I think people have gotten so comfortable with first world living. We are so comfortable where we are what does it matter if anythings happening elsewhere if it's not affecting me here? BLECH! That's what I say to that! I have been called to be a risk taker, knowing that my faith is strong and I am trusting in the Lord's provision. I'm not saying to get wreck-less! But taking risks has to do with faith and because my faith rests on God...I'm good.

So that went in a completely different way than I thought it was! haha.

I ended the day by talking with my grandmother on the phone, eating chili, updating my resume and checking for casting calls in Austin. A Nicolas Sparks feature is being filmed the week I'm in Florida..........DRATS! ;)

Well, that's all for tonight my loves! Enjoy some pictures from my day :]

Patience Young Grasshopper

It's not always funny when someone calls you out on something. But, often I find myself laughing at the various times I am "called out" by God. So I get really frustrated and stressed out during a conversation with my mother and after the conversation I leave the house. I had to get out. The place of a home which used to be filled with peace has recently been a war zone between family members. Now I guess "war zone" may be overdoing it just a bit, so let's just say that home has become an uncomfortable place to be with the quarreling of parents and occasionally my sister who comes home only when she has to. I was that way in college too. I'm not saying I don't have any part in the un-peacefulness of our home, I have had my moments, mainly with my mother. It's a hard transition when you move home after 4 years of never living at home for more than a couple weeks on breaks. You are a different person, and it's not necessarily their fault that they (without thinking about it) assume that you are who you were when you left. They have only had the chance to see you in bits and it's not enough for them to understand you as an independent individual. I'm still struggling with that with my mother. It was a bit easier for my dad because we are so close and he and I are very similar, we still have little moments but they are very few and there is common understanding in the end. That's not exactly the case with me and my mother's relationship. Quite the polar opposite.

So anyway, I'm having a conversation about a couple things pertaining to my future with my mother (which I should have never started talking about in the first place) and it gets to the point where she's asking me questions or making statements that don't pertain to my character at all. Does this lady who birthed me know anything about me at all? Let me give an example: It was like telling Mother Teresa not to steal from the poor OR It was like stating "everything has to have a purpose in life."Actually that's pretty close to one of the things that she said to me. It's like telling me if I'm dehydrated I need to drink water. Duh! Ok, enough with the examples. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm merely trying to convey that whether it be my parent or another person's parent sometimes their "I only want what is best for my child" goggles get in the way of them seeing to the child's heart. Sometimes their preventative measures whether they be in word or physically acted can jump the gun. I think the fact that I was away for 4 years has a little to do with things being suggested or said that don't apply. I know to put my underwear on before I put my pants on, I know that the bunny ears criss-cross and make a bow, I know that a car needs gas to run, I know that I have challenges ahead as an adult, I know that the choices I make now do influence my future, I know that I need to take the real world seriously, I know that just because an good offer is made doesn't mean it is right to take it, I know not to be hasty and I know to do my homework. But, I also understand this: My God has me in the palm of His hand. My God has promised to never lead me astray and if I happen to be that one that takes the detour He will leave the many and go after me. I know My God has a plan, I know there is a plan and I have prayed and I have pleaded with the Lord that He would slam doors in my face if it's not the right one. I am doing my best as a learning and growing young adult.

Mother Teresa turning those tables for your enjoyment.

This post is pretty raw for me but, I also know that it is reality and people struggle everyday. So I'm struggling day to day just as everyone does, but I am also learning from those struggles. I know it's not my mother's fault that we don't always agree or that I struggle to communicate with her on certain levels. Thank God that we are different people! That He makes us unique! She has been there for me in so many other ways, I pray that I can do those same things for my children one day.

I have noticed through this also, that I am looking for confirmation and or a good word or helpful advice a lot from my mother, and its NOT a bad thing at all!! But, in my circumstance I need to be taking a lot of those conversations and thoughts of mine to the Lord. He is, after all, my provision and when I have left mom and dad behind, my relationship with Him is going to be most important of all.

Oh and as if there wasn't enough learning in the novel above! Here's another gem:

Faith and Endurance2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. 6 But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. 7 Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. 

BAM!!!!

 How's that feel Gabrielle? "Can I let you know when I regain my breath from being punched in the stomach?" Yeah. That's how that felt. Here I am enduring one of the most impactful seasons of my life thus far and not once have I said thank you for it. Thinking about it earlier I started to become so much more thankful for all the challenges I have faced thus far and I am hoping I can make that a habit for the future. I used to be so good at remembering to thank God through the trials and challenges but in this season it's something I have forgotten. I know I'm not facing religious injustice, or facing persecution for my faith but the bibles teachings aren't only for one season, one place, one situation or one time. Though these may seems like trivial first world problems they are still a challenge and battle for the one who faces a very real evil who seeks to destroy everything it touches. 

Anyway. That's a real moment in the life of me. 

A couple quotes from today's Jesus Calling that sparked a bit of the thought and learning:

"Bearing your circumstances bravely––even thanking Me for them––is one of the highest forms of praise."

"Joy emerges from the ashes of adversity through your trust and thankfulness." 

Remember that one time I made a new blog...

So I slacked a bit for the past month. Whoops! Getting back in the game of writing before tomorrow because tomorrow would mark a month since my last post. So let me update the world on what happened in the last month. Ready?

Around the time of my last post I started getting ready for a bridal shower I was throwing for my childhood bff Miranda. I was doing most everything by myself but I didn't mind because I love planning things like that. So the 29th was the actual event. I left on the 27th to meet up with the bride-to-be and spend part of that weekend with her before the shower that Sunday. 

So the shower went really well and it was an awesome weekend. I ended up staying till Monday morning and then drove back home which is a 2.5 hour trip. I then had only two days till I drove back for the weekend of wedding festivities. Got our nails done, moved her and the fiancé into their new place, packed honeymoon bags, ran last minute errands and then had the rehearsal dinner. After the rehearsal dinner the bridesmaids and the bride all went to a hotel to stay the night before the wedding the next day. Probably the most fun I have had in a hotel room with girlfriends since high school. The wedding day came and everyone had separate plans for the day of except me so I spent the morning doing my own hair and makeup so I could being on the brides at 1:30pm for a 6pm wedding. It was a relaxing morning. The wedding came round and I was very happy with how her hair turned out after 2 hours. I almost lost it on stage with tears but did what I could to keep my composure. We danced the night away at the reception and then they were off! Funny enough I pulled out of the hotel I stayed at that night at the same time they did the next morning. We opened their gifts at the brides house and I kept track of everything. We then packed them up and sent them on their honeymoon. Phew. So weird to think that so many of my best of friends are getting married. I just had another childhood best friend text me 3 days ago to tell me she was engaged. I also have another wedding I'm in in less than a month! That'll come quick. 

Enough about weddings... I kinda regret giving that play by play because it may not be interesting to others but oh well... it is writ. 

I should be doing more searching when it comes to jobs. I don't want to end up in a complacent state of being. I will hate myself if that continues to happen. There's so much to life and I don't want to miss it. I have to look at it like searching for adventure. The adventure it out there I just have to trust that God is going to provide it and I need to believe in myself that I have the tools and have been prepared to seek out this adventure and be patient. That's a lot of things to do! Hard things too. It's easy when you have professors and deadlines to get things done even if you don't do them right away. I'm facing procrastination and beating my head against a wall to get my mindset straight. Yes, I've been busy but not busy enough to not be hunting for jobs or opportunities at all. Yesterday I sat in Barnes & Noble and about out-did myself with staring at a computer screen for 7 hours. I then came home and continued to work after dinner. Now realizing, I need to remember not to burn myself out with having to do everything or search everywhere at once. So I've gone to Target and I bought myself a teal and grey binder, some sheet protectors and dividers! Felt soooo good to buy some school supplies although i could have come up with other excuses why I needed so many other things that I really didn't need. Isn't that how it goes in Target? So currently my stomach is growling and I have a date with starbucks on my to do list. 

Day 2 of get my life together and stop being complacent... GO! Dear God, give me focus and strength!

Peace Home Skillets!

West Coast \\ Midwest // East Coast

Within the span of a week I was on the West Coast & East Coast. I have to be honest, I needed the travel. Although they were short trips I needed a getaway. These are the perks that come with my dad's job and I had the privilege of jumping on board. (catch that pun?) So last week I packed my bags for California and flew over some beautiful mountain ranges in SoCal. My heart leapt as I listened to mixed music made by friends of mine and looked at the beauty thousands of feet below me. I took some pictures of the scape but none can live up to the beauty my eyes beheld. I imagined myself down in the ridges of the mountain, experiencing the nature and taking in the revitalization it brings. I daydreamed a little and finished reading a script written by a dear friend of mine, who, if I may brag about here on this cyber-page, is quite talented, I couldn't put the script down if only to gaze on the mountains out my window.

I spent the weekend in San Bernardino with my family and many of the University of Mary Hardin Baylor's generous donors and other important people. I now have spent a great deal of time with the Owner of the Dr. Pepper distribution plant...Dr. Pepper's originating city is in Waco, TX (45 min from where I live). I also know the Blue Bell man! They're all older guys of course but hey perhaps I can get them to like me enough to give me free things! The DP man offered me a gallon of DP concentrate which makes 6 two liters of normal soda! I will be taking him up on that!

So California was beautiful, I had my own hotel room, and I got to go to the Pacific Coast Aquarium! I got to see the penguins! That made me excited. We ate fancy and got to see our football team play and win they're first game of the season. Then we got on a plane at midnight western time and headed home. Got in at 5:30am central time and my bag was nowhere to be found........After searching everywhere and checking with everyone I went to bed at 7:30am and by 5pm that afternoon the airport found my bag. They lost it. Go figure.

So 3 days later I'm packing for New York. So very excited because I get to see my JULIE!! I was more excited about seeing her than the broadway show I was going to see that weekend. So we get in on Wednesday and meet up with my uncle who lives in Manhattan. We drove from Times Square, where we were staying, to New Jersey to have dinner at a fancy and expensive restaurant. I can remember eating there when I was a kid and my uncle took us that last time as well. Let me just say our bill was almost $200 for the 4 of us. It was crazy...crazy and good! I felt a little spoiled by my uncle who made me order dessert after having such a huge and amazing meal. He's pretty great. He also took us to ground zero since it was 9/11 I wanted to make it out there. It was neat to people watch around there. Some were stopping wherever they were to take pictures of the lights in the sky that replaced the buildings that were once there and others sat and consoled each other.

The next morning we went to Pick-A-Bagel the best place in NY to get bagels. We then went to Central Park, Bloomingdales, H&M, New York & Company, Juicy Cube and some other shops. I took a short nap and Julie came over. Julie and I had planned to eat dinner, head to her place in BKLYN and then she would come over to stay at the hotel with me. So we ate left overs cuz we are cheap and why not!? Then we walked to the subway and I bought my first metro card! I forgot that as many people are on the street there are just as many below the street. Thatshacray! We rode the subway and talked the whole 40ish minutes to BKLYN. The moment we got there it had started to rain, so we walked 4 blocks in it, totally unprepared to her apt. We were only there a few minutes when Lizzie (her roomie) got home and stood at the door, in a dress, soaking wet. It was definitely a movie moment other than the fact that she wasn't too bothered that she was soaking wet. We at peppermint patties and visited for a moment till I took Julie...well, she took me to my hotel. Riding back the subway was not as crowded and we got to kinda freely enjoy catching up by joking around and laughing. When we got back to the hotel we changed and went to the restaurant in the hotel to get dessert. It was lovely. "Friends" was the end to our evening and the next morning we got breakfast, mini cupcakes, moseyed around LOFT and then she went back on the subway to work. That evening we got to eat at a fancy family style restaurant called "Carmines" and see "Jersey Boys." To tell you the truth, I fell in love with one of the actors who played one of the four seasons. I swooned... and I don't think I have ever swooned before, but I knew it when I did it. I swooned.

Our next day was tailgating and football. We won. Yep that's about as exciting as it gets.

In other news... I'm back in Texas. I introduced my folks to Mongolian tonight and went to see "The Family" in theaters. In other, other news... my heart is acting up. Yes, physically my heart is acting up. The other night I was bothered by its hard beating and along with it struggling to breathe completely, which makes me dizzy. So this has been going on for 3 days now. We got my blood pressure taken and it's fine... so I'm going to see my family doctor tomorrow. It's not beating fast. Just hard beats. Not constantly. Just when I'm resting. It's beating hard enough to make me notice my heart is beating. Normally people don't just stop to notice their heart beating. So like right now I can feel it every once and a while a couple beats will be harder than others. Anyway, as weird as it is, if you could say a prayer for my heart that it's nothing to worry about.

Was that update long enough for you all? I think I will spare y'all any more for tonight. I will update when I know whats up with this heart of mine. Who knows, all that swooning the other night over a broadway actor could have something to do with it... haha


Here's some pics from the past 2 weekends: