Sleep In Heavenly Peace

For the past almost two and a half weeks I have suffered from nightmares and night-terrors. I have had maybe 3 or 4 peaceful nights where I had not one nightmare. Perhaps it's the transition I have told myself, perhaps it's that I am overheated in my sleep (triggers nightmares for some people), perhaps subconsciously I feel anxious and my body deals with it through a nightmare. I have been plagued by guilt when I wake up because in my dreams I may have done something I would never do in reality like murder someone. I start to think 'what the heck is wrong with me?' 'what am I doing wrong?' When I got back from Costa Rica last summer I also was plagued by constant nightmares and through a lot of prayer and asking the Lord to watch over me and be present while I slept they eventually went away. The nightmares have been more constant and worse in content than when I came back to the states last summer. Even when I ask that the Lord be present as I sleep and dream I have been having nightmares. So this morning as I was troubled with the thought of all the nightmares I have had I kept reminding myself that the person who is in the nightmares is not who I am in present life. The desires to do evil in the nightmares are not the desires that I have in the real world. 

So I sit down to read Jesus Calling by Sarah Young and open my kindle bible app and this verse of the day appears:

Of course I am like 'woah!' Coincidence I think not! I am in such a vulnerable place right now as an individual. I am back home and missing community and fellowship with friends and elders of my church back in Virginia. I am at alone most of the time and that is a key opportunity for evil to sink it's teeth into my mind. I was talking to Kadi last night about life apart from community and how challenging it is. It's a different world when you aren't plugged into a church yet, or a small group or when you aren't always pouring into people, and people aren't always pouring into you. You start to think of everything you could be doing or should be doing. You get down on yourself for not having motivation and structure in your life. But, that is the transition. It's the mud you have to trudge through to get to the stream at the other end where you can wash away the struggles and challenges you have overcome, and move forward into your future. It's preparation in the most vulnerable state, because you are alone, and there aren't as many distractions. Anyway... a little rabbit trail there. 

Sleep is precious. It is a gift and it can be compromised by evil that seeps in. I'm so serious. It attacks your identity in your sleep, it feeds on your past mistakes, it devours all that is good about the restoration of sleep. I'm fighting a battle right now. Every night as I lay down to sleep my subconscious mind is fighting and in the physical realm I am doing what I can to fight off evil that follows me into my sleep. 

So in my reading this morning from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young it was about safety! These are the key excerpts from the reading:

"In closeness to Me, you are safe. In intimacy of My Presence, you are energized....I designed you for close communication with your Creator....When you commune with Me in the garden of your heart, both you and I are blessed. Together we will push back the darkness, for I am the Light of the world."

Couldn't be any more perfect, right? It just means that I'm going to have to get closer to God so together we can push away the darkness that floods my dreams. Not a bad idea.


So my friends, how can you pray for your fellow Texan? Pray for my sleep. Pray for peace in rest. As you lay your head down on your pillow think of me and pray that I would be free from attacks and protected. & I pray that the Lord blesses you as you sleep that He covers you and keeps you.

That's life right now. It's 1:10 pm and I am sitting in my kitchen in my pajamas writing. Yep. haha



Also....

This is one of the verses that was with the reading. I read it in the 4 different versions and I love each one. Especially the NKJ & ESV which end with Selah.

    PSALM 32:7

NIV

7You are my hiding place;

you will protect me from trouble

and surround me with songs of deliverance.

           MSG

7God’s my island hideaway,

keeps danger far from the shore,

throws garlands of hosannas around my neck.

NKJ

7Thou art my hiding place; 

thou shalt preserve me from trouble; 

thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah.

ESV

7You are a hiding place for me;

you preserve me from trouble;

you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah