Two posts in one day! Whoop! I honestly couldn't wait to write this one so that's why there are two posts in one day.
Let's start off with how this morning kinda went down. I have this bad habit of staying up till the wee hours of the morning so here I am at 1245 in the morning just laying down to catch some Zzz's when I decide it would be a good idea to check my email because I was expecting a reply from someone whom I had asked about meeting with that day. Well I check the email and find out that the person wants to meet before 8am and I'm like woahhh woahhh woahhh. Before 8am? That's a thing? I totally kidding but honestly I was a little frustrated that I didn't get the email until 1245 in the morning. Realizing I have to get up at 7am I lay down and of course of all nights my mind is reeling. I look back at my phone and its 2am. Poop. Really? Of all the nights I can't sleep it had to be this one? Alarm goes off at 7am and my body and mind didn't know what was going on. It's one of those moments when you honestly can't tell why there is noise and where it's coming from although you wake up to an alarm everyday today is different because you got less than 5 hours of sleep. Bleh. I get up and start the day a little frustrated till I get outside and its gloomy and immediately I am comforted. I put on some copeland and make the drive out to the meeting which I was late to. Afterwards I was sure I was going to head home and lay back down but I guess I felt a little inspired and romanced by "coffee" by copeland so I made my way to starbucks. The Starbucks near the college campus is super urbany and cozy, with edison bulbs and all. So I got myself some breakfast and a vanilla nonfat latte and sat down to read my bible app. I spent a couple hours there and then decided to head home to be productive and prepare for a phone conference I have coming up in less than an hour.
I get home and decide to do some more reading. This time out of my Altar Ego book by Craig Groeschel. I had left off the last time in the middle of a chapter on living with gratitude but it had been several weeks since I last read so I refreshed a bit and then finished the chapter. & Oh... muh gosh. On the second to last page I broke. Like, had to put the book down and grab a tissue because I couldn't contain the tears. Wanna know what that sentence was? ::: "Know that you have everything you need right now." --- So simple right? Yet, so profound. I think we focus a lot on God providing for here and now and future but we forget that we have what we need right now. Right now! Today he has given me my daily bread. Today he has provided me with the ears to hear my alarm go off and get me up to start the day. He has give me a car that's paid off and has gas in the tank and drives me to and from wherever I need to go, whenever. He provided the meeting this morning to connect me with people that will eventually help me to get clients to provide me with funds to pay for my trip to Guatemala. He has provided me with this computer and all my software to use to be able to work and be productive and work as a freelancer for the time being. He has provided me with a bed to sleep in that gave me the best rest I could have received in the 5 hours of sleep I did get. So many things. He provided me with ears to hear and to listen not only to people but to music. Thank God for music. I have everything I need right now yet I am so ungrateful and I am so shamed and humbled.
My frustration this morning with having to get up so early and not knowing till so late was totally unnecessary. So I think about today and how I have everything I need right now because it has been so graciously given and I am so unworthy. Then I begin to think about tomorrow and the further future and think about how the things of tomorrow or the further future that I have at those points may not be the same as the things that I need for today. Needful things constantly change in these seasons of life, and although I may want something right now because I feel that I need it doesn't mean that I will get it and doesn't mean that that Lord should give it. In His perfect timing. &&& the things that I have right now may not be what I have in the future. Any worldly thing could be taken from me at any point in time. Any person I hold dear could be taken at any point in time. I realize I am not showing my gratitude enough.
Shoot! Ok, go ahead Craig! So I think what really hit home for me in reading all of this is that I have all that I need right now. Right now, I have what I need. I have to keep telling myself this over and over. I have what I need right now. Looking towards the future its easy to forget the present and it is a present! haha Punny! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. So here I am preparing for a trip to Guatemala in May (which I will talk about hopefully later this week) and I am realizing that although in the future I need to have raised $1000... right now... I have what I need. It's hard to think that way when we think about money because a lot of what we focus on with money is what we need for the future. Needing to pay bills, rent, mortgages, for food, clothes....camera equipment ::cough cough:: haha. If I can trust Him with today and that He has provided me with today what I need to make it till tomorrow then I am thankful and grateful. Perhaps with this I will continue to learn and grow in trusting Him and His future provisions.
Signing off, God Speed <><
Let's start off with how this morning kinda went down. I have this bad habit of staying up till the wee hours of the morning so here I am at 1245 in the morning just laying down to catch some Zzz's when I decide it would be a good idea to check my email because I was expecting a reply from someone whom I had asked about meeting with that day. Well I check the email and find out that the person wants to meet before 8am and I'm like woahhh woahhh woahhh. Before 8am? That's a thing? I totally kidding but honestly I was a little frustrated that I didn't get the email until 1245 in the morning. Realizing I have to get up at 7am I lay down and of course of all nights my mind is reeling. I look back at my phone and its 2am. Poop. Really? Of all the nights I can't sleep it had to be this one? Alarm goes off at 7am and my body and mind didn't know what was going on. It's one of those moments when you honestly can't tell why there is noise and where it's coming from although you wake up to an alarm everyday today is different because you got less than 5 hours of sleep. Bleh. I get up and start the day a little frustrated till I get outside and its gloomy and immediately I am comforted. I put on some copeland and make the drive out to the meeting which I was late to. Afterwards I was sure I was going to head home and lay back down but I guess I felt a little inspired and romanced by "coffee" by copeland so I made my way to starbucks. The Starbucks near the college campus is super urbany and cozy, with edison bulbs and all. So I got myself some breakfast and a vanilla nonfat latte and sat down to read my bible app. I spent a couple hours there and then decided to head home to be productive and prepare for a phone conference I have coming up in less than an hour.
I get home and decide to do some more reading. This time out of my Altar Ego book by Craig Groeschel. I had left off the last time in the middle of a chapter on living with gratitude but it had been several weeks since I last read so I refreshed a bit and then finished the chapter. & Oh... muh gosh. On the second to last page I broke. Like, had to put the book down and grab a tissue because I couldn't contain the tears. Wanna know what that sentence was? ::: "Know that you have everything you need right now." --- So simple right? Yet, so profound. I think we focus a lot on God providing for here and now and future but we forget that we have what we need right now. Right now! Today he has given me my daily bread. Today he has provided me with the ears to hear my alarm go off and get me up to start the day. He has give me a car that's paid off and has gas in the tank and drives me to and from wherever I need to go, whenever. He provided the meeting this morning to connect me with people that will eventually help me to get clients to provide me with funds to pay for my trip to Guatemala. He has provided me with this computer and all my software to use to be able to work and be productive and work as a freelancer for the time being. He has provided me with a bed to sleep in that gave me the best rest I could have received in the 5 hours of sleep I did get. So many things. He provided me with ears to hear and to listen not only to people but to music. Thank God for music. I have everything I need right now yet I am so ungrateful and I am so shamed and humbled.
My frustration this morning with having to get up so early and not knowing till so late was totally unnecessary. So I think about today and how I have everything I need right now because it has been so graciously given and I am so unworthy. Then I begin to think about tomorrow and the further future and think about how the things of tomorrow or the further future that I have at those points may not be the same as the things that I need for today. Needful things constantly change in these seasons of life, and although I may want something right now because I feel that I need it doesn't mean that I will get it and doesn't mean that that Lord should give it. In His perfect timing. &&& the things that I have right now may not be what I have in the future. Any worldly thing could be taken from me at any point in time. Any person I hold dear could be taken at any point in time. I realize I am not showing my gratitude enough.
Craig said it pretty well in his book: "Have you ever gone to a lot of trouble to do something special for someone, but they barely acknowledge your effort? You planned. You saved. You prepared. You thought of every detail. You made everything just right. You worked like crazy to surprised someone, bless someone, honor someone. And they didn't say thank you. Of course you didn't do it to be rewarded, but an acknowledgment would have been nice.
Imagine how God feels when he gives us life, his love, his presence, his blessings, his Son. And we ignore him, continuing to do our own thing. Or perhaps we're a bit more gracious and give a polite token "thanks, God." ...Gratitude kills pride. Gratitude slays self-sufficiency. Gratitude crushes the spirit of entitlement."
Shoot! Ok, go ahead Craig! So I think what really hit home for me in reading all of this is that I have all that I need right now. Right now, I have what I need. I have to keep telling myself this over and over. I have what I need right now. Looking towards the future its easy to forget the present and it is a present! haha Punny! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. So here I am preparing for a trip to Guatemala in May (which I will talk about hopefully later this week) and I am realizing that although in the future I need to have raised $1000... right now... I have what I need. It's hard to think that way when we think about money because a lot of what we focus on with money is what we need for the future. Needing to pay bills, rent, mortgages, for food, clothes....camera equipment ::cough cough:: haha. If I can trust Him with today and that He has provided me with today what I need to make it till tomorrow then I am thankful and grateful. Perhaps with this I will continue to learn and grow in trusting Him and His future provisions.
Signing off, God Speed <><
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